Killing Batteries

Welcome back to Tuscany Month, featuring another chunk of the Lost Tuscany Text, some of my favorite content that didn’t make it into the totally redesigned 2010 Lonely Planet Tuscany & Umbria.

Today’s Lost Text is the town of Colle di Val d’Elsa. Most visitors here are simply changing buses en route to Volterra. However, if you have a hour or two to kill, or you’re itching to stay somewhere off-the-beaten-path and chilled out, this is a great choice.

Colle has long been Italy’s major center for fine glass and crystal production and, unburdened by any notable church, museum or work of art, the place has kept its character as a rural market town. Colle Alta, the historic, one-street part of town located high atop a severe ridge, is a fun place to wander. The lower part of town is modern, and ho-hum, though they do a bustling Friday market in and around Piazza Arnolfo, selling everything from giant wheels of cheese to frilly knickers.

There’s a tourist office in both the lower part of town (Piazza Arnolfo 9; hours 11am-7:45pm, closed Sun afternoon), sharing space with the bus station ticket office on the main square, and another in the upper part (Via Campana 43; hours 10am-12pm & 3-6pm Monday-Saturday, 10am-12pm & 3-5pm Sunday). If crystal art is your thing, between March and October the lower tourist office books crystal tours (€20), with visits to glass-blowing, shaping, cutting and engraving workshops and crystal showrooms. The Museo del Cristallo (Via dei Fossi 8a; hours 10am-noon & 3-7pm Tuesday-Sunday in summer), in the lower part of town, illustrates the history and production of crystal and displays some stunning pieces (leave your toddler at home). All descriptions are in Italian.

If you’re on foot, you should access Colle Alta via the elevator, hidden deep in the hillside (look for signs directing you to the cave entrance). If you’re driving up to Colle Alta, park in the free lot near Porta Nova at the western end of town.

Colle Alta has three small museums. The Museo Archeologico, Museo Civico and Museo d’Arte Sacra (the latter two share the same premises). Most interesting is the Museo d’Arte Sacra, with some worthwhile paintings by Sienese masters.

If you’re staying for dinner, Il Frantoio (Via Castello 40; meals €38) in Colle Alta gets full points, both for food and atmosphere. There’s cheaper places in town, but this is the only place where you’ll be pampered, from the complimentary champagne and small tasting appetizer to the main events of liver-filled ravioli and duck (very rare) with roasted potatoes. They also do a fixed-price lunch menu.

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Today’s Tuscany Month excitement highlights my favorite scenic/interesting drive in the region. Probably my favorite new feature in the 2010 Lonely Planet Tuscany & Umbria are all the numerous driving tours we added. In some cases we just took a logical grouping of villages that were already listed in the book and just tied them all together as a driving tour. I’ve taken my favorite driving tour (more like a road trip, since at the end of the day you end up too prohibitively far away from where you started to circle around and head back) cuts across the Le Crete region, south of Siena. Below is a Leifed up version of what appears in the guidebook.

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Road Trip: Abbazia di San Galgano to Pretoio

Distance: ~92km  Duration: 6-8 hours
After a week in Siena, as amazing as it is, the claustrophobia of it all begs for a scenic, low-impact road trip like this. Even fighting the dense traffic to get out of town, it still only takes about 20-25 minutes to travel the 20km southwest of Siena on the SS73 to the 13th-century San Galgano abbey, in its day one of the country’s finest Gothic buildings. Now it’s an impressive, haunting ruin (especially if you arrive in early morning fog) that still speaks strongly of its past. The monks of this former Cistercian abbey were among Tuscany’s most powerful, forming the judiciary and acting as accountants for the comuni (municipalities) of Volterra and Siena. Sir John Hawkwood, the feared English mercenary, sacked the abbey on at least two occasions in the 14th century. By the 16th century the monks’ wealth and importance had declined and the church had deteriorated to the point of ruin. In 1786 the bell tower simply collapsed, as did the ceiling vaults a few years later. Today the great, roofless, stone and brick monolith stands silent in the fields. There’s a small tourist office with limited hours next door in a stretch of cloister housing.

On a hill overlooking the abbey is the tiny, round Romanesque Cappella di Monte Siepi. (You can either walk or drive up here) Inside the chapel are badly preserved frescoes by Ambrogio Lorenzetti depicting the life of San Galgano, native to the area, who managed the neat trick of being both a soldier and saint. San Galgano is said to have had a vision of St Michael on this site and, as one does after such an event, lived his last years here as a hermit. More intriguing is a real-life ’sword in the stone’, sitting under glass in the floor of the chapel. Legend has it that San Galgano himself plunged it there, as the mother of all exclamation points, during his renunciation of worldly life.

The drive to Buonconvento is tricky, even with a GPS helping you out. Wiggle west past Monticiano, through San Lorenzo, Fontazzi and Murlo, then curl down the Strada Provinciale di Murlo 34 which eventually runs into Buonconvento, sitting there like a large roadside rest stop on a rare, perfectly flat stretch of plain. The low-slung fortified walls of this farming centre hide a quiet little medieval town. The rather brief amount of time it takes to wander the historic center can be supplemented by its two museums: the Museo della Mezzadria Senese, with its life-size figures, antique farm tools, and multimedia presentation of what life was like living off the land until quite recently, and the Museo d’Arte Sacra, containing religious art collected in the town and from neighbouring churches and hamlets.

Ten very pretty kilometers northeast is the 14th-century Abbazia di Monte Oliveto Maggiore, still serving as a retreat for around 40 monks. The congregation was founded in 1313 by John Tolomei, though construction didn’t begin on the monastery until 1393. The grounds are very atmospheric, but most people come here for the outstanding fresco series in the Great Cloister, painted by Luca Signorelli and Il Sodoma, illustrating events in the life of the ascetic St Benedict, founder of the Benedictine order. The fresco series wraps around the four-sided Great Cloister, illuminated naturally by an inner courtyard.

I never get tired of the hilarious dichotomy between these two artists. Signorelli, reputed to be a widely respected, kind man, had previously done minor work on the Sistine Chapel and would later produce his masterpiece Resurrection of the Flesh in the Chapel of San Brizio, in Orvieto’s Duomo. He started work in the monastery in 1497, producing nine frescoes. In stark contrast, Il Sodoma, born Giovanni Antonio Bazzi, was purported to have been something of a character, even by artist standards. He dressed flamboyantly, kept a ‘Noah’s Ark’ of unusual pets, sung original ditties of dubious taste and, according to Giorgio Vasari in the book The Lives of the Artists, earned the moniker ‘Sodoma’ ‘because he always surrounded himself with boys and beardless youths whom he loved beyond measure’. He added 17 frescoes, completing the series around 1505.

The road from Monte Oliveto Maggiore to Asciano is, for pure scenery, about as good as Tuscany gets. It’s also quite a thrill for drivers, being a 1 1/2 lane wide, winding, heel-toe challenge. Tiny Asciano won’t keep you long. It has a trio of small museums dedicated to Sienese art and Etruscan finds in the area. You may be ready to eat by this stage, which is perfect as there are several no-nonsense restaurants in town, including my favorite, La Brace at Via Mameli 9/11, featuring warm proprietors and tattered, hand-written paper menus.

Make sure your clutch-foot is well rested before setting off on the twisting 20km road up to Montisi, little more than a one-street, medieval blip capping a steep hill. Its allure speaks to a certain disposition, particularly the expat artist community hunkered down here. A little asking around can win you entrance to a few of the town’s small churches, stuffed with aging paintings, town effects dating back to the 15th-century and a tiny crypt. The copious activities in this retiring town and the surrounding area is kind of remarkable, including contemporary art exhibitions, cheese tastings, horseback riding tours and eight-day ballooning tours. Taverna Montisi, on the edge of town, is the primary eatery; with a seasonal menu fuelled by organic farmers in the immediate area. The owner doubles as the town-fixer-cum-tourism-coordinator, arranging everything from tours to emergency dentist visits.

Finally, nearby wedding cake-shaped Pretoio, is a wanderable, quiet place and home to the Museo della Terracotta, run by a local, prolific terracotta artist. If you can drive no further, Palazzo Brandano is a swish and stylish place to spend the night. Otherwise, slightly more budget-friendly places in are in nearby Pienza or Montepulciano.

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Welcome back to Tuscany Month, featuring another chunk of the Lost Tuscany Text, some of my favorite content that didn’t make it into the totally redesigned 2010 Lonely Planet Tuscany & Umbria.

Today’s Lost Text is the town of San Quirico d’Orcia. Although extremely atmospheric and featuring some good value eating and sleeping, San Quirico, by Tuscany standards, is merely a very rewarding road-side attraction, rather than a resounding ‘destination’, and so it got the ax during word count slashing:

Fortified. Compact. Medieval. San Quirico has the usual Tuscan adjectives and, unfortunately, few singular attractions. A one-time pilgrim pit-stop on the Via Francigena, it’s still a worthwhile place to pull over if you happen to be racing by on the SS2 between Montalcino and Pienza. Its Romanesque Collegiata is notable for its unusual three doorways, decorated with bizarre stone carvings. Inside is a triptych by Sano di Pietro. Just off Piazza della Liberta, the main square, the Horti Leononi are small, but lovely formal Italian Renaissance gardens with geometrical hedges. There’s a decidedly quiet and whimsically open tourist office at Via Dante Alighieri 33a, which also acts as the information office for the Parco Artistico Naturale e Culturale della Val d’Orcia.

The surrounding, pleasant Val d’Orcia, a land of flat, chalky plains and low-slung, pointy hills, is the latest Italian area to be declared a Unesco World Heritage Site. The equally recent Parco Artistico Naturale e Culturale della Val d’Orcia, headquartered in San Quirico d’Orcia, protects the area.

One of the better eateries in town is Trattoria Al Vecchio Forno (Via Piazzola 8; meals €30). They may be cleverly venting the kitchen’s grill out into the street, as you’ll smell it before you see it. The intimate dining room is crowded with classic photos of San Quirico and precariously stacked shelves of wine. Rabbit and Sienese pig figure heavily on the secondi list.

If you don’t have time for a sit down meal, there’s a magnificent small cheese shop (Via Dante Alighieri 113b; hours 9:30am-1pm & 4-7:30pm), an outlet for the Fattoria Pianporcino cheesemakers, where you can pick up the renowned pecorino di Pienza and other cheesy goodness.

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Mussels from Cantina Senese in Livorno

This might be my favorite Tuscany Month post, celebrating the imminent release of the totally redesigned 2010 Lonely Planet Tuscany & Umbria. (Which isn’t to say you should stop reading after this, I’m saving the crowd pleasing doosies for near the end)

Having now completed two Tuscany guidebook projects for Lonely Planet, I’m feeling emboldened to share some authoritative opinions about the area. My biggest fixation is how one might enjoy a first-rate Tuscany experience without having to cash in a bunch of grandma’s savings bonds.

Food is both one of the biggest reasons to come here and arguably the chief wallet-pulverizing expense. Even mid-range restaurant prices can be intimidating, thus many people resort to self-catered sandwiches and slices from the pizza window, which is just plain tragic. Once, I met budget traveling family cycling through Italy who drove me to stuttering frustration when they bragged about never once eating a restaurant meal. Folks, if you don’t intend to eat at least the occasional proper restaurant meal in Italy, you’ve squandered one of the country’s primary enticements.

Special meals, in any price range, are frequently what leaves the most lasting Tuscany trip memories, but in my experience some of Tuscany’s best meals can be found in the most unpretentious, simple neighborhood joints, where even a pasta dish with three ingredients (counting the pasta) will shock you with its flavor and counterintuitive complexity.

The good news is that virtually every city and village hides at least one place fitting the cheap eats bill, offering a full meal (pasta, meat dish and dessert) for less than €23 (US$33).  Below are some of my favorites (prices accurate as of spring/summer 2009):

Cantina Senese (Livorno)
Borgo dei Cappuccini 95; meals €17-20
I hate to play favorites, but this is probably my favorite, along with Trattoria Dardano in Cortona (see below). The meal I had here was outstanding and one of the cheapest of the entire trip. There wasn’t a single tourist in the joint when I last visited this place, despite already being listed in the previous edition of the guidebook. It’s part guys-guy hangout, part restaurant. The value-conscious harbor workers, who seem to know more about food than many self-described Italy food bloggers, are the first to fill the long wooden tables at this unpretentious and friendly eatery, with neighborhood families arriving later. Ordering is frequently done via faith in one’s server – I never saw a menu, and I was not disappointed. The mussels were exceptional, as was the cacciucco di pesce (seafood stew), both served with taste bud-melting garlic bread.

Osteria La Barrocciaia (Livorno)
Piazza Cavallotti 13; meals €20
For all its many faults, like wildly over-priced accommodation for example, Livorno is a killer place to eat, especially, of course, seafood. This joint may be the worst kept dining secret in town, but locating Barrocciaia still takes a careful eye what with it being the most inconspicuous facade and well-hidden sign in Piazza Cavallotti. Big sandwiches (€5) are sold out of the tiny front room, but with luck and timing you can score a table and enjoy the real reason every local speaks of La Barrocciaia with reverence. The menu fluctuates continually, as does the art on the walls, with the exception of grandpa’s picture, quietly supervising the third generation of management.

Il Castagnacciao Pizzeria (Portoferraio, Isola d’Elba)
Via del Mercato Vecchio 5; half/whole pizzas €3/6
Though the island of Elba is primarily a seafood eating experience, the especially popular Castagnacciao demands recognition. Down a very narrow street from Piazza Cavour in the historic centre, this is where locals go for takeaway or sit-down pizza bliss. A bunch of friendly guys taking orders, prepping and baking pizzas, are squashed behind an impossibly cramped counter. Yet somehow, from this mayhem, more than 20 different types of wood-fire pizza appear.

Cafescondido (Portoferraio, Isola d’Elba)
Via del Carmine 65; meals €23-28
Way up the hill from Piazza Cavour, toward Fortezza Falcone, the raucous café up front gives no sign of the delicious food served in the impressionist art-festooned back room. Servers deftly explain Elba-centric culinary permutations on the chalkboard menu. The table wine is better than average and there’s plenty of crostata to choose from for dessert.

L’Osteria (Siena)
Via dei Rossi 79/81; meals €25
This is a hair outside of my €23 per meal cut-off, but since they have to turn a profit in super-expensive Siena, I’m giving them a pass. Indeed, they’re the deal of the century in this otherwise intimidating eating atmosphere. I felt a little guilty about listing this place in the guidebook, being that a local pleaded with me not to put it in (hence, ruining it), but it was just too good. Plus the place was half-filled with tourists when I visited, so it’s not like I personally wrecked the secret. They serve no nonsense, but savory dishes at prices locals will pay. Skip dessert and pop over the road to Kopa Kabana for the freshest gelato in Siena.

Enoteca Gustavo (San Gimignano)
Via San Matteo 29; snacks & wine from €2.50
San Gim’s historic center is decidedly starved for the kind of budget eating I envisioned for this list, but this enoteca (wine bar) gets credit for its impressive bruschetta menu and plates like cheese with honey to go with the substantial selection of wines There isn’t much elbow space inside, so go for one of the outside tables if you can, where the people watching is superb.

Osteria Porta al Cassero (Montalcino)
Via Ricasoli 32; meals €24
They’re a hair over my €23 limit, but they get bonus points for atmosphere. It’s a simple place selling hearty peasant-style fare such as bean and vegetable soup, Tuscan pork sausage with white beans and a “pan-roasted roasted rabbit”. That’s right, “roasted roasted”. Don’t ask, as my companion and I did, how a rabbit can be roasted twice unless you want to ignite a 30-minute, osteria-wide, impassioned debate on Tuscan cooking terminology.

Osteria dell’Acquacheta (Montepulciano)
Via del Teatro 22; meals €18-24
This is a small eatery with the look and feel of a country trattoria and some of the most attentive staff in Tuscany. The food is excellent and mainly meaty, ranging from misto di salami Toscani (a variety of Tuscan sausages and salamis) to huge steaks. It fills fast at lunch. Arrive early or reserve.

Enoteca a Gambe di Gatto (Montepulciano)
Via dell Opio nel Corso 34; meals €21-30
This exacting husband and wife team are renowned throughout the region. They travel the country in winter to acquire the absolute best products from organic producers. The daily menu fluctuates wildly, depending on market offerings. The wine and oil served in the restaurant are also on sale in their enoteca.

Osteria da Tronca (Massa Marittima)
Vicolo Porte 5; meals €23-28
Squeezed into a side street, da Tronca is an intimate stone-walled restaurant with lots of antipasti (€3) to choose from and a memorable tortelli alla Maremma (pasta filled with ricotta and a type of spinach, covered in homemade ragu). For mains, you can’t go wrong ordering anything with cinghiale (wild boar).

Torre di Gnicche (Arezzo)
Piaggia San Martino 8; meals €21-26
Just off the Piazza Grande, this is a fine old restaurant that’s staunchly traditional (lunch service starts at 12.30pm and not one second before!), offering a rich variety of antipasti. The ample range of local pecorino cheeses is enriched by an extensive red wine list.

Trattoria Il Saraceno (Arezzo)
Via G Mazzini 6; meals €24-28
Arrive at the stoke of noon, because by 12:30 this places is hopping and you may go hungry. With 60 years in business, this trattoria serves quality, varied Tuscan fare attracting a lunch and dinner crowd that keeps the swarm of servers dashing. The impressive wine collection is hard to miss, as it conspicuously lines the walls along with classic pictures of Arezzo. They also do pizzas, starting at €5.

La Grotta (Cortona)
Piazzetta Baldly 3; meals €20-28
I’ve found this place, at the end of a blind alley just off Piazza della Repubblica, to be closed at very odd times, even for Italy. Should you find them open, its a reliable choice. Twin-roomed and intimate, it has all the virtues of a traditional trattoria. If you go for strong flavours, begin with the beef carpaccio, followed by the cheese ravioli with truffle sauce.

Trattoria Dardano (Cortona)
Via Dardano 24; meals €19-24
Dardano, my second favorite, barely, to Cantina Senese in Livorno, is one of those no-nonsense yet still unexpectedly wonderful trattorie that feature prominently in every Tuscany travel memoir, doing amazing things with ostensibly simple dishes. You’ll be elbow-to-elbow with locals and giddy, idealistic visitors, seriously considering buying and fixing up a nearby farmhouse on the strength of their lunch.

Trattoria da Leo (Lucca)
Via Tegrimi 1; meals €19
The outdoor dining area of this wildly popular place is smooshed into a tiny, but busy street in Lucca’s historic center. Known all over northwest Tuscany, the menu gets a little more adventurous than what you’d expect at a budget-end place, which is how I ended up eating here three times in three days last spring. They’re well used to tourists, managing to be friendly and non-rushed, which is hard to find in this category of eateries.

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Welcome back to Tuscany Month, featuring another chunk of the Lost Tuscany Text, some of my favorite content that didn’t make it into the totally redesigned 2010 Lonely Planet Tuscany & Umbria.

Today’s Lost Text is a box I wrote about Pope Pius II for the previous Tuscany & Umbria guidebook. Pius is easily one of the most interesting, successful, yet oddly narcissistic and peculiar popes in history. That we name-drop the guy in the guidebook about as often as St Catherine is evidence of the mark he made during his wildly prolific life.

Pius’ intangible contributions to society, both before and after being named pope, were immeasurable. The largest physical example of his impact on Europe can still be admired today in the form of Pienza’s Piazza Pio II. In an effort to jazz up his birthplace, Pius commissioned the total renovation of Pienza’s central square (done in a mere three years between 1459 and 1462), designed by architect Bernardo Rossellino. Urban planning geeks will particularly dig this square as it became the Renaissance blueprint later adopted in other towns and cities across Italy and eventually Europe.

Here’s the text:

The Notorious P-I-U-S

Let’s be honest, there’s been a lot of popes over time and not all of them have been newsworthy, or even pope-worthy for that matter. Pope Pius II (1405-1464) was both. Born Enea Silvio Piccolomini, the man was everywhere. He was a tireless traveller, writer of erotic and comic stories, poet laureate, diplomat, bishop, exhaustive autobiographer (13 volumes!) and medieval urban-planning trend-setter. And most of that occurred before he was even pope! His early ‘faults’ in life being no secret, that he redressed his motivations and developed into such a distinguished and likeable leader is particularly estimable. Noted above all for being ‘human’, an elusive papacy trait apparently, he’s also remembered for his tireless diplomacy, even in the face of uncooperative leaders and insurmountable odds.

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Tuscany Month continues with my on-the-ground, personally researched list of the best cheap sleeps in Tuscany. The Sleeping listings were one of the hardest hit sections in the beautifully crafted 2010 edition of Lonely Planet Tuscany & Umbria and with online accommodation booking making this section almost obsolete, it’s easy to understand why.

I realize that Tuscany is not one of the first places in the world that springs to mind when you think of budget travel. And honestly, assuming one doesn’t commit to campsites and bread and jam three meals a day, even utilizing my best Tuscany budget travel tips will still result in a somewhat serious cash outlay over a week or two compared to a similar interval in Bulgaria. Furthermore, one would be tempted, and sometimes correct, in assuming that anyone offering super-budget accommodations in high-priced Tuscany is probably renting out rooms in an abandoned wing of a mental hospital 12 kilometers outside of town.

Well, the good news is that there’s several passably cheap sleeps in Tuscany. Staying at a few of them will require you to have you own car, or heroic public bus patience and fortitude, but many are within easy walking distance from some of Tuscany’s best areas. Two caveats: I have not accounted for Florence and northwest Tuscany in this list, as this is not my research area, and I am not taking into account the sprinkling of semi-decent campsites in the region. I’m only including places with four permanent walls, proper beds and indoor plumbing. Also, prices listed were accurate as of spring/summer 2009.

There are, of course, a few HI hostels in the area. Though, as Italy backpacker veterans will probably agree, Italy’s HI hostels are, for the most part, well below the bar for European standards of cleanliness and location, to say nothing of the tendency for prison-caliber rules and the occasionally questionable mental stability of the proprietors. Unfortunately, unless you consider yourself among the greatest of all hostel warriors, for these reasons I cannot recommend the HI hostels in Livorno, Siena and Cortona.

Having said all that, in no particular order, the best cheap sleeps in Tuscany are:

Pensione Dante (Livorno)
Singles €30, doubles €40, triples €50 (breakfast included)
This is a great, centrally located place. New management brought in new floors, new beds, and vastly improved bathrooms and communal kitchen. Rooms are large and bare, some with a view of the canal, but everything is squeaky clean. The new breakfast room opens up to the canal as well and has a TV and coffee machine. When I last visited, though it’s not yet mentioned on their web site, they were preparing to open a B&B nearby.

Pensione Bartoli (Castiglioncello)
Singles €43-50, doubles €60-72 (closed November-Easter)
Located in the unpretentious (read, somewhat boring and strangely starved of decent eating options) seaside town of Castiglioncello, this villa is rich in character and offers unbeatable value. It’s an old-fashioned ‘let’s stay with grandma’ kind of place with 18 well-dusted, large rooms, lace curtains and venerable family furniture. Rooms 19 (the largest) and 21 have the best sea views.

Albergo Ape Elbana (Portoferraio, Isola d’Elba)
Singles €45-80, doubles €60-110 (including breakfast and parking)
Sitting enviably in the center of Portoferraio’s old town, overlooking Piazza della Repubblica (where guests can park for free). This butter-colored building is Elba’s oldest hotel, where guests of Napoleon are reputed to have stayed while he was briefly exiled on this pretty island. The location is its best feature as rooms, while large, are a little soulless. Ask for one of the larger ones looking onto the piazza.

Hotel La Perla (Siena)
Singles €40-60, doubles €70-85, triples €90-115 (no breakfast)
A very friendly and well-run budget option, considering its dead center location in one of Tuscany’s more pricey cities. Bathrooms are small and a few rooms are musty, but that’s a small price to pay for this otherwise excellent value, seconds from Piazza del Campo. Room 28 has an amazing view of San Domenico church and Room 26 overlooks the Duomo.

Hotel Le Tre Donzelle (Siena)
Singles with shared bathroom €38, doubles with shared bathroom €49, doubles with private bathroom €60
Central and popular, this hotel was originally constructed as a tavern in the 13th century. Rooms are clean and simple and the shared bathrooms are spotless. Ask for a room facing away from the noisy street.

Foresteria Monastero di San Girolamo (San Gimignano)
Per person €27 (Breakfast is €3, parking is available)
Run by friendly Benedictine nuns, this is an excellent quiet, budget choice in otherwise super expensive San Gimignano, with basic but spacious, comfortable rooms with attached bathrooms, sleeping two to five people. It’s a busy place, often hosting groups, so ring as far ahead as possible. If you don’t have a reservation, arrive between 9am and 12.30pm or between 3pm and 5.45pm and ring the monastery bell. You can also use their kitchen (€3 per day).

Il Giardino (Montalcino)
Tel. +39 (0) 577-84-82-57, email albergoilgiardino at virgilio dot it
Singles €40-45, doubles €55-60, triples €73-85 (including breakfast)
An excellent-value, family-run, friendly, two-star hotel overlooking Piazza Cavour. The pensioners running it don’t speak a lick of English, so have your phrasebook at the ready.

Le Case (Castiglione d’Orcia)
Singles €45, doubles €70, triples €85 (including breakfast, free internet access and wi-fi, closed Jan-mid-Mar)
The only agriturismo on the list and, in fact, probably the best value agriturismo in Tuscany. Just 1km south of Castiglione d’Orcia, this 18th-century stone farmhouse is run by a warm Italian couple. All five rooms are tastefully decorated and charming in their simplicity. Two elderly farmers can be regularly spotted around the property, resolutely continuing their daily chores. Somewhat remote (you definitely need your own car to stay here) and fittingly peaceful, nearby diversions include horseback riding, hiking, wine-tasting, and the spas. Discounts available for long stays.

Oliviera Camere (Pienza)
Singles €35, doubles €48 (both include breakfast); apartments (without breakfast) €70
Once an olive oil mill and squeezed into a side street in low-key, pedestrian-friendly Pienza, this place represents excellent value. Its four rooms are simple, but fresh and attractive. There are also three larger studio apartments. It’s great as a base of operations, as several buses a day pass through Pienza heading for both Siena and Montepulciano.

Bellavista (Montepulciano)
Tel. +39 (0) 347 823 23 14; email bellavista at bccmp dot com
Doubles €65-70 (Parking available)
This is an excellent choice if you’re traveling in pairs. Nearly all of its 10 high-ceiling, double rooms have fantastic views – room 6 has a private terrace. Some rooms have refrigerators and all have great beds. No-one lives here so phone ahead in order to be met and given a key (if you’ve omitted this stage, there’s a phone in the entrance lobby from where you can call).

La Cocciara (Cetona)
Per person €20
Horribly located in ho-hum Cetona (you’ll need a car to stay here), but it’s one of the precious few HI-affiliated youth hostels in Tuscany that won’t offend. Large, clean, safe and friendly. Bring earplugs, as noise from the busy road can be formidable.

Seminario di Sant’Andrea (Volterra)
Tel +39 (0) 588 8 60 28; email semvescovile at diocesivolterra dot it
Single with bathroom €14, double with bathroom €28; doubles with shared bathroom €36 (Breakfast is €3, parking available)
Still an active church retreat (but they welcome all comers), this is a peaceful, though slightly dilapidated place with vaulted ceilings and 20 large, clean rooms. A mere 600m or so from Piazza dei Priori.

View from room 6 in Albergo Guastini

Albergo Guastini (Pitigliano)
Singles €35-40, doubles €58-66, triples €84-92 (Breakfast is a steep €8; closed mid-Jan-mid-Feb)
This is Pitigliano’s only hotel, so it’s a good thing they’re friendly and welcoming. The main attraction here is that the hotel is perched on the edge of the cliff face, giving amazing view of the bastion (rooms 6 and 18 in particular). These are among the best hotel-room vistas in Tuscany. Its highly regarded restaurant (meals with a glass of wine, cost about €28) also merits a visit.

Camera Caffe (Arezzo)
Singles without bathroom €35; Singles with bathroom €40, doubles with bathroom €55 (breakfast included)
Across the street from Arezzo’s train station and reasonable walking distance from anything in the historic center, the dorm room decor here is supplemented by cushy beds and fat duvets. The huge, self-serve kitchen has a gorgeous dining terrace with city views. Some rooms have air-con.

Betania (Cortona)
Singles without bathroom €32, doubles without bathroom €42; doubles with bathroom €48
Just outside Cortona’s historic center, at the end of a gated, beautiful, tree-lined entrance, the large garden, great views and onsite church give the property a distinct monastic feel. They offer off-street parking for €25 per day, but the street parking is just fine.

La Casa sul Lago (Torricella, outside Perugia)
Dorm bed €16, private rooms €22-44 per person
I gave these guys the Killing Batteries bump in 2007 for Best Hostel, even though they are located just a few kilometers outside my region, in the tiny village of Torricella, only 50 meters from the shores of Lake Trasimeno in Umbria (where I lived for a few months). It’s a large place, that frequently hosts school groups in the summer (book in advance!), but the people running it are just awesome. The location is slightly inconvenient if you don’t have a car (the village has a train station on the Perugia-Florence line, but trains only stop a few times a day), but the lake-side village is super chill. They have a second location on Polvese Island that’s so beautiful and agriturismo-licious that people have been known to become giddy with pleasure during their stay and (almost) propose marriage to whatever female is in their company.

Ostello San Frediano (Lucca)
Dorm bed €18-20; double with private bathroom €55
OK, this one is outside my research territory too, but I stayed here for a few nights at the end of my trip in 2009 and they are just great. In fact, they’re outstanding by Italian HI Hostel standards. Inside the historic center, free parking, €8 dinners available, and housed in a massive, historic building.

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Welcome to the first of many Tuscany posts in the month of January, marking the release of a heartbreaking work of guidebooking genius, the 2010 edition of Lonely Planet Tuscany & Umbria.

I don’t normally make such a big deal about the release of my guidebooks, but this particular guidebook is special, because, what with the lavish redesign, it’s effectively a first edition. Everyone busted their respective asses molding the old content into a gutsy new style, which is only being applied to select LP titles. There’s lots of changes: new maps, easier to navigate layout and better organized practical information, among other things.

The downside was that a scat-load of words had to be sacrificed to make this game-changing redesign. This text reduction was made possible by listing fewer eating and accommodation options, shortening site descriptions and, in some cases, tragically chopping out whole towns. As I’ve repeatedly made clear in the past, guidebook research, even in Tuscany, can be a ball-busting drag some days. But having to go home after all that pavement pounding and slash vast portions of text that literally took days to research drove me to weeping, desk-pounding, expletive-hollering despair on more than a few occasions. (My office can be a very dramatic place, as you might have gathered)

Well, it’s time to take those lemons and make limoncello. Amongst the sneak previews, my own Top 11 lists and extended tips and reviews that I’ll be posting this month, I’ll also be re-purposing (as we like to say in publishing circles) much of the Tuscany content lost to my reduced word count limits. Armed with the new edition and the grenades of info, tips and quips that I’ll be listing here, when you go to Tuscany you’ll be the envy of, well, me for starters. Boy, do I miss that food.

The first installment of the Lost Tuscany Text, is a box text about St Catherine of Siena, an A-List saint if there ever was one. Some of you Killing Batteries old timers may recognize chucks of this text, because I posted a longer, less informative, but far more hilarious version of the piece two years ago, entitled “Good for nothing kid or future saint?”. Sadly, this enlightening and wit-soaked box, which I wrote specifically for the previous edition of Tuscany & Umbria, did not survive the editor’s ‘delete’ button for the new edition, so I’m posting it here in its entirety:

‘Mom! Catherine’s Consecrating Her Virginity to Jesus Again!!’

Saint Catherine of Siena (1347-1380), co-patron saint of Italy and one of only two female Doctors of the Church, was born in Siena, the 23rd child out of 25 (her twin sister died at birth). Like a true prodigy, she had a religious fixation at a very early age. She is said to have entertained plans to impersonate a man so she could be a Dominican friar and occasionally raced out to the road to kiss the place where Dominicans had walked.

At the dubious age of seven, she consecrated her virginity to Christ, much to her family’s despair. At 18 she assumed the life of a Dominican Tertiary (lay-affiliate) and, as wayward teens are wont to do, chose initially to live as a recluse in the family’s basement, focused on devotion and spiritual ecstasy. She was noted for her ability to fast for extended periods, living only on the Blessed Sacrament, which as nutritionists might attest, probably contributed to a delirium or two. Catherine described one such episode as a ‘mystical marriage’ with Jesus. Feeling a surge of humanity (or possibly boredom), she emerged from her cloistered path and began caring for the sick and poor.

Another series of visions set in Hell, Purgatory and Heaven, compelled Catherine to take her work to the next level. Though it’s said she didn’t actually learn to write until near the end of her life, she began an ambitious and fearless letter-writing campaign – dictating up to three letters to three secretaries simultaneously – to all variety of influential people, including lengthy correspondence with Pope Gregory XI. She beseeched royalty and religious leaders for everything from peace between Italy’s republics to reform within the clergy. This go-getter, early form of activism was considered highly unusual for a woman at the time and her no-holds-barred style, sometimes scolding cardinals and queens like naughty children, was gutsy by any standard. And yet, rather than being persecuted for her insolence, she was admired, her powers of persuasion often winning the day where so many others had failed.

She is said to have experienced the stigmata, but this event was suppressed as it was considered bad form at the time to associate the stigmata with anyone but St Francis.

Acting as an ambassador to Florence, she went to Avignon and was able to convince Pope Gregory XI to bring the papacy back to Rome after a seven-pope, 73-year reign in France. A few years later she was invited to Rome by newly elected Pope Urban VI to campaign on his behalf during the Pope/anti-pope struggle (the ‘great western Schism’) where she did her best to undo the effects that his temper and shortcomings were having on Rome. This heroic, utterly exhausting effort likely contributed to her untimely death in 1380 at the age of 33.

Catherine’s abundant postmortem accolades started relatively soon after her death when Pope Pius II canonized her in 1461. More recently, Pope Paul VI bestowed Catherine with the title of Doctor of the Church in 1970 and Pope John Paul II made her one of Europe’s patron saints in 1999. Additionally, despite having received no formal education, her letters (over 300 have survived) are considered to be great works of Tuscan literature.

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I’ve noticed a disconcerting trend lately. And by ‘disconcerting’, I mean annoying. To me. Honestly, this isn’t normally a difficult thing to accomplish, but this particular situation has gotten so out of control in the past year that it warrants both comment and mocking.

Lately, when it comes time for one to write one’s bio, say, on their Twitter profile, or break down their ‘experience’ on their blog’s ‘About Me’ page, people are increasingly turning to ridiculous superlatives and unverifiable labels to jazz things up. Now inserting a little hyperbole into one’s resume has been going on since Pope Pius II put out his 13 volume autobiography, but this new wave of blatant, dizzying exaggeration and unaccountability is starting to reach ridiculous heights. What’s more demoralizing, this transparent embellishing appears to be somewhat effective.

Probably my biggest pet peeve is when people bestow the title ‘guru’ upon themselves, meaning, by definition, “a leader in a particular field”. Really? Are you a leader in your field? And if so, does that mean the other 10,000 people claiming to be gurus in your field are also leaders? Well, that’s simply not possible. ‘Guru’ is just a nebulous, evocative designation that anyone can claim at any time without having to complete any study, training or testing. I could call myself a break dancing guru and no one could (or has the inclination to) prove me wrong. Hell, while I’m at it, let’s tack on ‘brunch guru’ too.

Another rage trigger is when people crown themselves with three or four improbable job titles simultaneously, like social media advisor, financial consultant, interior designer and sommelier. All by the age of 26. Firstly, in the unlikely event that someone is really being paid to perform all of the jobs they’re claiming, there’s no way they could be humanly doing any of them well. Secondly, when did people start getting the delusions of grandeur that allow them to believe they’re experts at anything after so little genuine experience? Albert Einstein, though he made several remarkable breakthroughs in his 20s, didn’t really hit his stride until his 40s. That was Albert “Greatest Fucking Mind of the 20th Century” Einstein. So, I can’t help but be skeptical when someone three years out of college announces that they’re writing a book about how to get rich, orchestrate the perfect marriage or find everlasting happiness.

Unfortunately, much like the heart-breaking popularity of lists, I can’t help but acknowledge that this is probably how things are going to be from here on out and if I want to continue to compete in this arena, I’d better adapt. As such, I’ve started to retool my resume, which I present now for public indulgence, demonstrating how extraordinarily talented I am without citing any supporting evidence.

Leif “It Boy” Pettersen

________________________________________

HIGHLIGHTS OF QUALIFICATIONS

* Super-genius-level communication skills (except when dealing with idiots).
* Internationally acclaimed writer, with expertise in a broad spectrum of topics, including travel, tech, wine, relationships, food, germs, bros, hos, basketball, TV, radio, juggling, acting, walking, talking, peeing standing up, skim-reading, long division, your mom, parallel parking, annoying things, omelets and boobs.
* Life-long travel badass – visited 428 countries on 11 continents and can drink the water anywhere he damn well feels like it.
* Pointing and grunting fluency in 83 languages.
* Web page design authority/guru/innovator/collaborator/masticator.
* Inventor of blogging.
* World renowned photographer, with over 100 photos posted on the “internet”.
* Adapts quickly to change and new experiences (in bed).
* Highly dependable, punctual, and efficient judge of stupid stuff.

RELEVANT EXPERIENCE

- Best-selling author of guidebooks on more than two European countries.
- Work has appeared in dozens of high profile, internationally renowned, award-winning, religion-changing magazines, anthologies, books, web sites and retweets.
- Countless stirring, swoon-inducing appearances on radio, TV and online videos.
- Domestic and international electronic payments wizard, who, if he really wanted to, could have caused a global financial crisis with a touch of a button during his years working for the Federal Reserve System. But he didn’t, because he’s infallibly awesome and loves puppies.
- Consumed over 500 bottles of wine and 2,000 pints of cider, and has never puked up any of it, making him both a consummate journalist and an ideal house guest.

It’s still a work in progress, but you get the idea. If I play my cards right, 2010 will be the year I achieve previously unthinkable riches and fame while performing the bare minimum of actual skilled work, kinda like Megan Fox, except with manners.

Agonizing over travel insurance? Maybe I can help…

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