Killing Batteries

This is it folks. For the final post of Tuscany Month, celebrating the release of the totally redesigned 2010 Lonely Planet Tuscany & Umbria, I am listing, by my modest estimation, the best places to eat in Tuscany. I’ve selected restaurants from the full budget range for various reasons that will be made clear in the reviews, however I’m leaving out the Michelin starred places, because featuring those would just be too easy and probably too expensive for most visitor’s inclinations anyway.

Caveats: the restaurants on this list are merely my personal selections, chosen on the strength of my two thorough Lonely Planet research trips through the region. However, this list has not been endorsed by Lonely Planet, nor for that matter, anyone with unassailable Tuscan dinning expertise. I have eaten at all of these places, usually only once, though sometimes twice, and I fully acknowledge that a single visit to any restaurant is not a wholly fair judgment of its full potential (or shortcomings). Also, again, I have not accounted for Florence and northwest Tuscany in this list, as this is not my research area. For my purposes, prices for a ‘meal’ include a pasta dish, a meat dish, a dessert and the coperto (service charge), but no drinks/wine. All prices listed were accurate as of spring/summer 2009.

Cantina Senese (Livorno)
Borgo dei Cappuccini 95; meals €17-20
Sound familiar? That’s because they made the “Best cheap eats in Tuscany” list too. It’s really a special place, for great food, reasonable prices, local color and all around atmosphere. The front half is a guys-guy hangout area, with food at prices that locals will pay on a weeknight being served just beyond at long wooden tables. It’s been almost a year, but I frequently think about the mussels and cacciucco di pesce (fish stew) that I had here. If, for whatever unlikely reason, you end up spending the night in Livorno, you may consider staying longer just to eat here again.

Antica Osteria da Divo (Siena)
Via Franciosa 29; meals €45-50
Despite my sizable eating obligations in Siena, not to mention the top-end prices here, I couldn’t help but eat at Divo twice last year. It’s very much a tourist place, but holy smokes is it ever good. Most seating is in the carved-out cellar with rough-hewn walls said to be former Etruscan tombs. The inventive menu includes dishes such as cannelloni with ricotta, spinach, grilled sweet peppers, tomatoes and Tuscan pesto sauce. The buckwheat lasagna au gratin with pheasant and fennel seeds in a creamed garlic and squash sauce is, obviously, quite the sight. Avert your eyes from the prices and enjoy an incredible eating experience.

La Libertaria (Portoferraio, Isola d’Elba)
Calata Matteotti 12; meals €28
This was an unexpected treat. Though I was directed here by the local Slow Food guy, I had initial misgivings as the place looks pretty moribund from the front. Seating capacity and backdrops are meager (a tent in the alley or out on the sidewalk, 5cm from speeding traffic), but the food is divine. Also, in the unlikely event that nothing on the menu turns your crank, the kitchen is open to requests! The linguine sarde e finocchietto (pasta with sardines and fennel) is unexpectedly excellent (I don’t normally dig on sardines) and the cooked-to-perfection tonno in crosta di pistacchi (tuna fillet with pistachio crust) was one of my favorite meals of the entire trip.

Gelateria di Piazza (San Gimignano)
Piazza della Cisterna 4
This is, hands-down the best gelateria in Tuscany. Oh you think you know a better one? One that’s not right on a famous, tourist-trap main square and therefore more authentic? Actually, you don’t because I probably ate the gelato wherever you’re thinking and I know what I’m talking about. Still unconvinced? Ask world famous gelato expert Tony Blair (OK, he’s nowhere near a gelato expert, but you know the guy has had the best of the best of everything) who is quoted, right on the wall, as saying “all the family thought the ice cream was delicious” See? Case closed. Master Sergio uses only the choicest ingredients, like pistachios from Sicily and cocoa from Venezuela. There’s a variant based on Vernaccia, the local wine, and, if you want to be more adventurous, saffron cream.

Il Pino (San Gimignano)
Via Cellolese 8-10; meals €37-42
When I first ate here in 2007, I had the raviolone di pecorino delle crete con lingua stufata e carote e porri all’aneto (sheep’s milk cheese ravioli with stewed meat, carrots, and leeks), which still ranks as the greatest pasta dish I’ve ever had anywhere in Italy. Sadly, it wasn’t on the menu in 2009, but the massive pasta plates and truffle-based specialties were still exceptional. The atmosphere here is spruce, vaulted and airy and the service is friendly and attentive. The ‘chocolate mousse with chocolate’ might sound funny, but the joke’s over when you taste it and realize it’s factually correct – and devastatingly good.

Ristorante Don Beta (Volterra)
Via Giacomo Matteotti 39; meals €30-45, fixed price menus €12-21
If you read my 2009 Best and Worst of Tuscany list, you’ll remember this place, as it earned the title ‘Best Meal’. And unlike most higher end Tuscan restaurants, both times I was here, the place was filled with locals. It’s all about the truffles at Don Beta. Four truffle-based primi piatti, and five secondi are enhanced by their fragrance. This is the place to sample the fungus, people. Prices aren’t listed, as truffle costs vary on a weekly basis, so it’s a good idea to inquire about prices before ordering, though they are generally reasonable. Alternatively, choose the mouth-watering tortellone di sfoglia di Spinaci Noci e Radicchio (spinach ravioli with walnut and radicchio sauce) or the Bistecca di Cinghiale alla griglia (amazingly tender wild boar fillets grilled with rosemary).

La Tana del Brillo Parlante (Massa Marittima)
Vicolo del Ciambellano 4; meals €30-35
OK, I didn’t actually eat at this place, though not for lack of trying. I was there on a weekend and it was totally booked out. However, a waiting list of discriminating locals can’t be wrong, so I’m putting my faith in this place anyway. Satisfying the Slow Food checklist to the letter, the diminutive interior ‘den’ seats a mere 12 people (in summer up to another six can squeeze into tiny alley tables). It’s billed as the ‘smallest osteria in Italy’. If you intend to dine here in summer or on the weekend, reserve 2-7 days in advance. Pork is their fixation, particularly the regional cinghiale alla Maremmana (Maremma wild boar).

Sobborgo (Cetona)
Via Sobborgo 6; meals €40
At the end of the piazza, the attentive staff serve an amazingly savory (and amazingly dainty) ravioli di chianina e dragoncelli con porcini (ravioli stuffed with beef and tarragon with porcini mushrooms). Even the bread here is swoon-worthy. If the idea of a €40 meal makes you take pause, you can off-set the price by staying a few blocks away in the perfectly nice La Cocciara, one of Tuscany’s best hostels.

Ristorante Fiorentino (Sansepolcro)
Via L Pacioli 60; meals €28-32
Exceptionally friendly and, having been in the same family for four generations, one of those legacy Tuscan restaurants known throughout the region. Daughter Alessia, an architect/sommelier with a degree in kitchen sciences and occasional guest on cooking TV shows, is guiding the restaurant into 21st century excellence. Dad, Alessio, still oversees day-to-day business, including the kitchen, where the pasta’s homemade, the imaginative menu changes with the seasons and there’s nary a freezer to be found.

Osteria del Teatro (Cortona)
Via Maffei 2; meals €32-40
Friendly service, fresh flowers on every table and a liberal meting out of truffle shavings awaits diners here. Featured in nearly every Italian gastronomic guide, its walls are proudly covered with photos of actors who have dined here. In summer, expect to find the recurring ravioli ai fiori di zucca (pumpkin-flower ravioli) among the recommended pasta plates.

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The Tuscany Month countdown to the release of the totally redesigned 2010 Lonely Planet Tuscany & Umbria is nearing its end. I’ve been saving the best for last, including my carefully considered list of the best hotels, pensions and agriturismi (farm stays) in the region.

As always, the caveats are: this list is merely the product of my personal opinions and is not endorsed by Lonely Planet. I have not slept in all of these places, usually for financial reasons, but I’ve thoroughly toured them all, usually more than once, and on the strength of having seen about a squillion properties in my travel writing career, I’m pretty confident I’ve got this list nailed. I have not accounted for Florence and northwest Tuscany in this list, as this is not my research area. All prices listed were accurate as of spring/summer 2009.

Speaking of ‘financial reasons’, you’ll notice that several of the places on the list are decidedly aimed for special occasions and lottery winners. I have nothing to say in my defense. Oh-wow moments and historic surroundings rarely come cheap, especially in Tuscany.

In no particular order:

Agriturismo La Cerreta (outside Sassetta)
Località Pian delle Vigne; per person per night with half board €55-65
You get a definite hippie vibe here, even before you see the owner’s impressive hair. Once he starts chatting about his 20 years in the business of engineering a “self-sufficient, biodynamic, harmonic project” (all in Italian, so bring your favorite translator), you start to understand that this farmhouse is more about providing a simple, gastronomically authentic Tuscan lifestyle tutorial rather than the run-of-the-mill tourist services – though they can do that too. They raise cinta senese (indigenous Tuscan pig), Maremma cows, and the rare Livornese chicken, among others. Cooking instruction, guided hiking/biking, farm activities and even photography are arranged onsite. Horse tours are nearby and a brand new, three-pool thermal spa was near completion when I last visited. Wwoofing stays are available.

Borgo Stomennano (outside Monteriggioni)
Room sleeping four people €900-1000 per week (including internet and swimming pool)
A sprawling unforgettable property 2km outside Monteriggioni. This historic collection of farmhouses dating from the 1600s has been converted into apartments, furnished and decorated with an amazing collection of heirlooms dating back hundreds of years – children under 14 are not permitted due to the delicate nature of these items. Though geared for large groups (six to 32 people) and events, couples are welcome during select periods. You can self-cater or request full board. Special touches include an infinity pool, welcome bottles of wine (with personalized labels!) and a private trail from the property, through undulating fields, leading to Monteriggioni.

Antica Residenza Cicogna (Siena)
Via dei Termini 67; singles €70-75, doubles €90, triples €130 (including breakfast, air-con and wi-fi)
Springless beds, soundproof windows (priceless with the way sound carries on the streets of Siena), ornate frescoes, wi-fi and antique furniture make this central option justifiably popular. With a mere five rooms and two suites, class exudes from prominent elements such as the four-poster bed, elaborate, thick-framed mirrors and the breakfast space (enormous buffet style). Reception has limited core hours (8am to 1pm), so arrange your arrival in advance. Parking is €18.

Palazzo Brandano (Pretoio)
Via di Valgelata 18; singles €150, doubles €225 (including breakfast, air-con, wi-fi and PC access)
Within the hilltop, 12th-century walls of peaceful, wedding cake-shaped Pretoio, the four-star Brandano is practically an attraction on its own. Rooms are sumptuous, wood-beamed affairs with frescos, classic furniture, plush beds, wi-fi, sensational views, and Jacuzzis. They have an impressive onsite restaurant, with a chef that’s available for cooking classes.

Hotel Leon Bianco (San Gimignano)
Piazza della Cisterna 13; singles €65-80, doubles €80-135, triples €110-135 (including breakfast, air-con, wifi- and PC internet access)
I love this place. When you take into account super expensive San Gim, it’s really a great value. The hotel, occupying a 14th-century mansion, faces the historic central square. It’s smoothly run and friendly, with a ground-floor abundance of plants, a pretty inner courtyard, a breakfast patio, billiard table and fitness room. Wi-fi (extra charge) is available in common spaces, though I was able to hop onto someone’s unsecured hub from my room.

Agriturismo San Lorenzo (outside Volterra)
Doubles €90; apartments (without breakfast) €95-110 (pool, internet available)
This is probably my favorite all-around agriturismo in all of Tuscany. Just 3km outside Volterra on the road to Siena, sits this giddying fusion of sustainable tourism, countryside vistas, modern conveniences and wonderful food (dinner per person is a very reasonable €28). The mountain spring-fed biological swimming pool, complete with frogs and salamanders, fronts the converted farmhouse, circa the 1400s. Rooms are ‘farmhouse chic’, individually decorated and colorful with modern kitchens and bathrooms. Walking, biking, horseback riding and hands-on, seasonal olive-oil production (October-November) are immediately available, as are cooking classes (€90 per person) with meals served in the 12th-century Franciscan chapel. Whether you consider it a curse or blessing, some mobile-phone services don’t work out here. They sell their own olive oil too!

Hotelito Lupaia (outside Pienza)
Doubles €240 (breakfast, swimming pool included)
Full disclosure: I was sent here for a magazine assignment and was comped for a three night stay. Just north of Pienza, this farm dates from 1237. Each room has been uniquely and meticulously designed by the family matriarch, a 30 year veteran of fashion and interior design. The main house, containing a sitting room, dining room and open kitchen, is similarly bedecked with restored and agreeably weathered furniture. The progressive use of medieval space, doing as little as possible and sigh-inducing countryside views punctuate stays here, which are only interrupted by alluring eating options in nearby Pienza, Montepulciano, Montichiello and Montefollonico.

La Frateria di Padre Eligio (outside Cetona)
Via di San Francesco; singles €140-160, doubles €220-240 (including breakfast)
This is probably the most historic, best-value sleeping option available to non-royalty. Up a signed lane (‘Mondox la Frateria Conv S Francesco’) 1km from Cetona on the road to Sarteano, this is a former convent dating from 1212. It’s been painstakingly restored and converted into an unforgettable, seven-room hotel and gourmet restaurant (meals without wine are a steep €110 per person), where you can expect a lavish eight-course dining experience, 90% of which is made from local products.

La Corte Del Re (Arezzo)
Via Borgunto 5; singles €60-75, doubles €70-90 (including air-con and internet)
A collection of six apartments, centimeters from Arezzo’s Piazza Grande, harmoniously blending contemporary design into elements of the historic building. The Pietro Aretino Suite has an ultra-modern bathroom that bleeds right into an Etruscan wall. Some apartments have kitchenettes and views of the square. There’s a three night minimum stay.

Hotel San Michele (Cortona)
Via Guelfa 15; doubles €79-220 (including breakfast, air-con and wi-fi)
This is Cortona’s finest hotel, which is surprising when you take into account their frequent discounted room rates. The property is primarily Renaissance, but with elements dating from the 12th century and modifications over subsequent centuries, it’s like a little history of Cortona in stone. Rooms are airy, spacious and exquisitely furnished. Unfortunately, for every week there are €79 rooms, there are two weeks with €200 rooms, so plan carefully. If you’re driving, parking will cost €20. Wi-fi costs €3 per hour.

L’Andana (outside Castiglione della Pescaia)
Doubles €500 (including breakfast, pool, internet, wi-fi and parking)
That’s right, rooms are €500 per night. When you coast down the gated, kilometer-long, tree-lined dirt track flanked by vineyards, olive trees and 50 sq km of rolling hills and rock up to this once summer abode of Duke Leopold, you’ll know why. Opened in 2004 and designed with the help of French three-star Michelin chef Alain Ducasse, this 16th-century property is the last hotel you’ll ever want to stay in. And you can bet your tongue that the onsite Trattoria Toscana (open for dinner only from Tuesday to Sunday) won’t disappoint. Avail yourself of the indoor and outdoor swimming pools, spa with signature treatments, tennis court, 18-hole golf course, lobby wi-fi and the largest showers in Tuscany – maybe Europe.

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Welcome back to Tuscany Month, featuring another chunk of the Lost Tuscany Text, some of my favorite content that didn’t make it into the totally redesigned 2010 Lonely Planet Tuscany & Umbria.

Today’s Lost Text is the town of Colle di Val d’Elsa. Most visitors here are simply changing buses en route to Volterra. However, if you have a hour or two to kill, or you’re itching to stay somewhere off-the-beaten-path and chilled out, this is a great choice.

Colle has long been Italy’s major center for fine glass and crystal production and, unburdened by any notable church, museum or work of art, the place has kept its character as a rural market town. Colle Alta, the historic, one-street part of town located high atop a severe ridge, is a fun place to wander. The lower part of town is modern, and ho-hum, though they do a bustling Friday market in and around Piazza Arnolfo, selling everything from giant wheels of cheese to frilly knickers.

There’s a tourist office in both the lower part of town (Piazza Arnolfo 9; hours 11am-7:45pm, closed Sun afternoon), sharing space with the bus station ticket office on the main square, and another in the upper part (Via Campana 43; hours 10am-12pm & 3-6pm Monday-Saturday, 10am-12pm & 3-5pm Sunday). If crystal art is your thing, between March and October the lower tourist office books crystal tours (€20), with visits to glass-blowing, shaping, cutting and engraving workshops and crystal showrooms. The Museo del Cristallo (Via dei Fossi 8a; hours 10am-noon & 3-7pm Tuesday-Sunday in summer), in the lower part of town, illustrates the history and production of crystal and displays some stunning pieces (leave your toddler at home). All descriptions are in Italian.

If you’re on foot, you should access Colle Alta via the elevator, hidden deep in the hillside (look for signs directing you to the cave entrance). If you’re driving up to Colle Alta, park in the free lot near Porta Nova at the western end of town.

Colle Alta has three small museums. The Museo Archeologico, Museo Civico and Museo d’Arte Sacra (the latter two share the same premises). Most interesting is the Museo d’Arte Sacra, with some worthwhile paintings by Sienese masters.

If you’re staying for dinner, Il Frantoio (Via Castello 40; meals €38) in Colle Alta gets full points, both for food and atmosphere. There’s cheaper places in town, but this is the only place where you’ll be pampered, from the complimentary champagne and small tasting appetizer to the main events of liver-filled ravioli and duck (very rare) with roasted potatoes. They also do a fixed-price lunch menu.

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Today’s Tuscany Month excitement highlights my favorite scenic/interesting drive in the region. Probably my favorite new feature in the 2010 Lonely Planet Tuscany & Umbria are all the numerous driving tours we added. In some cases we just took a logical grouping of villages that were already listed in the book and just tied them all together as a driving tour. I’ve taken my favorite driving tour (more like a road trip, since at the end of the day you end up too prohibitively far away from where you started to circle around and head back) cuts across the Le Crete region, south of Siena. Below is a Leifed up version of what appears in the guidebook.

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Road Trip: Abbazia di San Galgano to Pretoio

Distance: ~92km  Duration: 6-8 hours
After a week in Siena, as amazing as it is, the claustrophobia of it all begs for a scenic, low-impact road trip like this. Even fighting the dense traffic to get out of town, it still only takes about 20-25 minutes to travel the 20km southwest of Siena on the SS73 to the 13th-century San Galgano abbey, in its day one of the country’s finest Gothic buildings. Now it’s an impressive, haunting ruin (especially if you arrive in early morning fog) that still speaks strongly of its past. The monks of this former Cistercian abbey were among Tuscany’s most powerful, forming the judiciary and acting as accountants for the comuni (municipalities) of Volterra and Siena. Sir John Hawkwood, the feared English mercenary, sacked the abbey on at least two occasions in the 14th century. By the 16th century the monks’ wealth and importance had declined and the church had deteriorated to the point of ruin. In 1786 the bell tower simply collapsed, as did the ceiling vaults a few years later. Today the great, roofless, stone and brick monolith stands silent in the fields. There’s a small tourist office with limited hours next door in a stretch of cloister housing.

On a hill overlooking the abbey is the tiny, round Romanesque Cappella di Monte Siepi. (You can either walk or drive up here) Inside the chapel are badly preserved frescoes by Ambrogio Lorenzetti depicting the life of San Galgano, native to the area, who managed the neat trick of being both a soldier and saint. San Galgano is said to have had a vision of St Michael on this site and, as one does after such an event, lived his last years here as a hermit. More intriguing is a real-life ‘sword in the stone’, sitting under glass in the floor of the chapel. Legend has it that San Galgano himself plunged it there, as the mother of all exclamation points, during his renunciation of worldly life.

The drive to Buonconvento is tricky, even with a GPS helping you out. Wiggle west past Monticiano, through San Lorenzo, Fontazzi and Murlo, then curl down the Strada Provinciale di Murlo 34 which eventually runs into Buonconvento, sitting there like a large roadside rest stop on a rare, perfectly flat stretch of plain. The low-slung fortified walls of this farming centre hide a quiet little medieval town. The rather brief amount of time it takes to wander the historic center can be supplemented by its two museums: the Museo della Mezzadria Senese, with its life-size figures, antique farm tools, and multimedia presentation of what life was like living off the land until quite recently, and the Museo d’Arte Sacra, containing religious art collected in the town and from neighbouring churches and hamlets.

Ten very pretty kilometers northeast is the 14th-century Abbazia di Monte Oliveto Maggiore, still serving as a retreat for around 40 monks. The congregation was founded in 1313 by John Tolomei, though construction didn’t begin on the monastery until 1393. The grounds are very atmospheric, but most people come here for the outstanding fresco series in the Great Cloister, painted by Luca Signorelli and Il Sodoma, illustrating events in the life of the ascetic St Benedict, founder of the Benedictine order. The fresco series wraps around the four-sided Great Cloister, illuminated naturally by an inner courtyard.

I never get tired of the hilarious dichotomy between these two artists. Signorelli, reputed to be a widely respected, kind man, had previously done minor work on the Sistine Chapel and would later produce his masterpiece Resurrection of the Flesh in the Chapel of San Brizio, in Orvieto’s Duomo. He started work in the monastery in 1497, producing nine frescoes. In stark contrast, Il Sodoma, born Giovanni Antonio Bazzi, was purported to have been something of a character, even by artist standards. He dressed flamboyantly, kept a ‘Noah’s Ark’ of unusual pets, sung original ditties of dubious taste and, according to Giorgio Vasari in the book The Lives of the Artists, earned the moniker ‘Sodoma’ ‘because he always surrounded himself with boys and beardless youths whom he loved beyond measure’. He added 17 frescoes, completing the series around 1505.

The road from Monte Oliveto Maggiore to Asciano is, for pure scenery, about as good as Tuscany gets. It’s also quite a thrill for drivers, being a 1 1/2 lane wide, winding, heel-toe challenge. Tiny Asciano won’t keep you long. It has a trio of small museums dedicated to Sienese art and Etruscan finds in the area. You may be ready to eat by this stage, which is perfect as there are several no-nonsense restaurants in town, including my favorite, La Brace at Via Mameli 9/11, featuring warm proprietors and tattered, hand-written paper menus.

Make sure your clutch-foot is well rested before setting off on the twisting 20km road up to Montisi, little more than a one-street, medieval blip capping a steep hill. Its allure speaks to a certain disposition, particularly the expat artist community hunkered down here. A little asking around can win you entrance to a few of the town’s small churches, stuffed with aging paintings, town effects dating back to the 15th-century and a tiny crypt. The copious activities in this retiring town and the surrounding area is kind of remarkable, including contemporary art exhibitions, cheese tastings, horseback riding tours and eight-day ballooning tours. Taverna Montisi, on the edge of town, is the primary eatery; with a seasonal menu fuelled by organic farmers in the immediate area. The owner doubles as the town-fixer-cum-tourism-coordinator, arranging everything from tours to emergency dentist visits.

Finally, nearby wedding cake-shaped Pretoio, is a wanderable, quiet place and home to the Museo della Terracotta, run by a local, prolific terracotta artist. If you can drive no further, Palazzo Brandano is a swish and stylish place to spend the night. Otherwise, slightly more budget-friendly places in are in nearby Pienza or Montepulciano.

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Welcome back to Tuscany Month, featuring another chunk of the Lost Tuscany Text, some of my favorite content that didn’t make it into the totally redesigned 2010 Lonely Planet Tuscany & Umbria.

Today’s Lost Text is the town of San Quirico d’Orcia. Although extremely atmospheric and featuring some good value eating and sleeping, San Quirico, by Tuscany standards, is merely a very rewarding road-side attraction, rather than a resounding ‘destination’, and so it got the ax during word count slashing:

Fortified. Compact. Medieval. San Quirico has the usual Tuscan adjectives and, unfortunately, few singular attractions. A one-time pilgrim pit-stop on the Via Francigena, it’s still a worthwhile place to pull over if you happen to be racing by on the SS2 between Montalcino and Pienza. Its Romanesque Collegiata is notable for its unusual three doorways, decorated with bizarre stone carvings. Inside is a triptych by Sano di Pietro. Just off Piazza della Liberta, the main square, the Horti Leononi are small, but lovely formal Italian Renaissance gardens with geometrical hedges. There’s a decidedly quiet and whimsically open tourist office at Via Dante Alighieri 33a, which also acts as the information office for the Parco Artistico Naturale e Culturale della Val d’Orcia.

The surrounding, pleasant Val d’Orcia, a land of flat, chalky plains and low-slung, pointy hills, is the latest Italian area to be declared a Unesco World Heritage Site. The equally recent Parco Artistico Naturale e Culturale della Val d’Orcia, headquartered in San Quirico d’Orcia, protects the area.

One of the better eateries in town is Trattoria Al Vecchio Forno (Via Piazzola 8; meals €30). They may be cleverly venting the kitchen’s grill out into the street, as you’ll smell it before you see it. The intimate dining room is crowded with classic photos of San Quirico and precariously stacked shelves of wine. Rabbit and Sienese pig figure heavily on the secondi list.

If you don’t have time for a sit down meal, there’s a magnificent small cheese shop (Via Dante Alighieri 113b; hours 9:30am-1pm & 4-7:30pm), an outlet for the Fattoria Pianporcino cheesemakers, where you can pick up the renowned pecorino di Pienza and other cheesy goodness.

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Mussels from Cantina Senese in Livorno

This might be my favorite Tuscany Month post, celebrating the imminent release of the totally redesigned 2010 Lonely Planet Tuscany & Umbria. (Which isn’t to say you should stop reading after this, I’m saving the crowd pleasing doosies for near the end)

Having now completed two Tuscany guidebook projects for Lonely Planet, I’m feeling emboldened to share some authoritative opinions about the area. My biggest fixation is how one might enjoy a first-rate Tuscany experience without having to cash in a bunch of grandma’s savings bonds.

Food is both one of the biggest reasons to come here and arguably the chief wallet-pulverizing expense. Even mid-range restaurant prices can be intimidating, thus many people resort to self-catered sandwiches and slices from the pizza window, which is just plain tragic. Once, I met budget traveling family cycling through Italy who drove me to stuttering frustration when they bragged about never once eating a restaurant meal. Folks, if you don’t intend to eat at least the occasional proper restaurant meal in Italy, you’ve squandered one of the country’s primary enticements.

Special meals, in any price range, are frequently what leaves the most lasting Tuscany trip memories, but in my experience some of Tuscany’s best meals can be found in the most unpretentious, simple neighborhood joints, where even a pasta dish with three ingredients (counting the pasta) will shock you with its flavor and counterintuitive complexity.

The good news is that virtually every city and village hides at least one place fitting the cheap eats bill, offering a full meal (pasta, meat dish and dessert) for less than €23 (US$33).  Below are some of my favorites (prices accurate as of spring/summer 2009):

Cantina Senese (Livorno)
Borgo dei Cappuccini 95; meals €17-20
I hate to play favorites, but this is probably my favorite, along with Trattoria Dardano in Cortona (see below). The meal I had here was outstanding and one of the cheapest of the entire trip. There wasn’t a single tourist in the joint when I last visited this place, despite already being listed in the previous edition of the guidebook. It’s part guys-guy hangout, part restaurant. The value-conscious harbor workers, who seem to know more about food than many self-described Italy food bloggers, are the first to fill the long wooden tables at this unpretentious and friendly eatery, with neighborhood families arriving later. Ordering is frequently done via faith in one’s server – I never saw a menu, and I was not disappointed. The mussels were exceptional, as was the cacciucco di pesce (seafood stew), both served with taste bud-melting garlic bread.

Osteria La Barrocciaia (Livorno)
Piazza Cavallotti 13; meals €20
For all its many faults, like wildly over-priced accommodation for example, Livorno is a killer place to eat, especially, of course, seafood. This joint may be the worst kept dining secret in town, but locating Barrocciaia still takes a careful eye what with it being the most inconspicuous facade and well-hidden sign in Piazza Cavallotti. Big sandwiches (€5) are sold out of the tiny front room, but with luck and timing you can score a table and enjoy the real reason every local speaks of La Barrocciaia with reverence. The menu fluctuates continually, as does the art on the walls, with the exception of grandpa’s picture, quietly supervising the third generation of management.

Il Castagnacciao Pizzeria (Portoferraio, Isola d’Elba)
Via del Mercato Vecchio 5; half/whole pizzas €3/6
Though the island of Elba is primarily a seafood eating experience, the especially popular Castagnacciao demands recognition. Down a very narrow street from Piazza Cavour in the historic centre, this is where locals go for takeaway or sit-down pizza bliss. A bunch of friendly guys taking orders, prepping and baking pizzas, are squashed behind an impossibly cramped counter. Yet somehow, from this mayhem, more than 20 different types of wood-fire pizza appear.

Cafescondido (Portoferraio, Isola d’Elba)
Via del Carmine 65; meals €23-28
Way up the hill from Piazza Cavour, toward Fortezza Falcone, the raucous café up front gives no sign of the delicious food served in the impressionist art-festooned back room. Servers deftly explain Elba-centric culinary permutations on the chalkboard menu. The table wine is better than average and there’s plenty of crostata to choose from for dessert.

L’Osteria (Siena)
Via dei Rossi 79/81; meals €25
This is a hair outside of my €23 per meal cut-off, but since they have to turn a profit in super-expensive Siena, I’m giving them a pass. Indeed, they’re the deal of the century in this otherwise intimidating eating atmosphere. I felt a little guilty about listing this place in the guidebook, being that a local pleaded with me not to put it in (hence, ruining it), but it was just too good. Plus the place was half-filled with tourists when I visited, so it’s not like I personally wrecked the secret. They serve no nonsense, but savory dishes at prices locals will pay. Skip dessert and pop over the road to Kopa Kabana for the freshest gelato in Siena.

Enoteca Gustavo (San Gimignano)
Via San Matteo 29; snacks & wine from €2.50
San Gim’s historic center is decidedly starved for the kind of budget eating I envisioned for this list, but this enoteca (wine bar) gets credit for its impressive bruschetta menu and plates like cheese with honey to go with the substantial selection of wines There isn’t much elbow space inside, so go for one of the outside tables if you can, where the people watching is superb.

Osteria Porta al Cassero (Montalcino)
Via Ricasoli 32; meals €24
They’re a hair over my €23 limit, but they get bonus points for atmosphere. It’s a simple place selling hearty peasant-style fare such as bean and vegetable soup, Tuscan pork sausage with white beans and a “pan-roasted roasted rabbit”. That’s right, “roasted roasted”. Don’t ask, as my companion and I did, how a rabbit can be roasted twice unless you want to ignite a 30-minute, osteria-wide, impassioned debate on Tuscan cooking terminology.

Osteria dell’Acquacheta (Montepulciano)
Via del Teatro 22; meals €18-24
This is a small eatery with the look and feel of a country trattoria and some of the most attentive staff in Tuscany. The food is excellent and mainly meaty, ranging from misto di salami Toscani (a variety of Tuscan sausages and salamis) to huge steaks. It fills fast at lunch. Arrive early or reserve.

Enoteca a Gambe di Gatto (Montepulciano)
Via dell Opio nel Corso 34; meals €21-30
This exacting husband and wife team are renowned throughout the region. They travel the country in winter to acquire the absolute best products from organic producers. The daily menu fluctuates wildly, depending on market offerings. The wine and oil served in the restaurant are also on sale in their enoteca.

Osteria da Tronca (Massa Marittima)
Vicolo Porte 5; meals €23-28
Squeezed into a side street, da Tronca is an intimate stone-walled restaurant with lots of antipasti (€3) to choose from and a memorable tortelli alla Maremma (pasta filled with ricotta and a type of spinach, covered in homemade ragu). For mains, you can’t go wrong ordering anything with cinghiale (wild boar).

Torre di Gnicche (Arezzo)
Piaggia San Martino 8; meals €21-26
Just off the Piazza Grande, this is a fine old restaurant that’s staunchly traditional (lunch service starts at 12.30pm and not one second before!), offering a rich variety of antipasti. The ample range of local pecorino cheeses is enriched by an extensive red wine list.

Trattoria Il Saraceno (Arezzo)
Via G Mazzini 6; meals €24-28
Arrive at the stoke of noon, because by 12:30 this places is hopping and you may go hungry. With 60 years in business, this trattoria serves quality, varied Tuscan fare attracting a lunch and dinner crowd that keeps the swarm of servers dashing. The impressive wine collection is hard to miss, as it conspicuously lines the walls along with classic pictures of Arezzo. They also do pizzas, starting at €5.

La Grotta (Cortona)
Piazzetta Baldly 3; meals €20-28
I’ve found this place, at the end of a blind alley just off Piazza della Repubblica, to be closed at very odd times, even for Italy. Should you find them open, its a reliable choice. Twin-roomed and intimate, it has all the virtues of a traditional trattoria. If you go for strong flavours, begin with the beef carpaccio, followed by the cheese ravioli with truffle sauce.

Trattoria Dardano (Cortona)
Via Dardano 24; meals €19-24
Dardano, my second favorite, barely, to Cantina Senese in Livorno, is one of those no-nonsense yet still unexpectedly wonderful trattorie that feature prominently in every Tuscany travel memoir, doing amazing things with ostensibly simple dishes. You’ll be elbow-to-elbow with locals and giddy, idealistic visitors, seriously considering buying and fixing up a nearby farmhouse on the strength of their lunch.

Trattoria da Leo (Lucca)
Via Tegrimi 1; meals €19
The outdoor dining area of this wildly popular place is smooshed into a tiny, but busy street in Lucca’s historic center. Known all over northwest Tuscany, the menu gets a little more adventurous than what you’d expect at a budget-end place, which is how I ended up eating here three times in three days last spring. They’re well used to tourists, managing to be friendly and non-rushed, which is hard to find in this category of eateries.

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Welcome back to Tuscany Month, featuring another chunk of the Lost Tuscany Text, some of my favorite content that didn’t make it into the totally redesigned 2010 Lonely Planet Tuscany & Umbria.

Today’s Lost Text is a box I wrote about Pope Pius II for the previous Tuscany & Umbria guidebook. Pius is easily one of the most interesting, successful, yet oddly narcissistic and peculiar popes in history. That we name-drop the guy in the guidebook about as often as St Catherine is evidence of the mark he made during his wildly prolific life.

Pius’ intangible contributions to society, both before and after being named pope, were immeasurable. The largest physical example of his impact on Europe can still be admired today in the form of Pienza’s Piazza Pio II. In an effort to jazz up his birthplace, Pius commissioned the total renovation of Pienza’s central square (done in a mere three years between 1459 and 1462), designed by architect Bernardo Rossellino. Urban planning geeks will particularly dig this square as it became the Renaissance blueprint later adopted in other towns and cities across Italy and eventually Europe.

Here’s the text:

The Notorious P-I-U-S

Let’s be honest, there’s been a lot of popes over time and not all of them have been newsworthy, or even pope-worthy for that matter. Pope Pius II (1405-1464) was both. Born Enea Silvio Piccolomini, the man was everywhere. He was a tireless traveller, writer of erotic and comic stories, poet laureate, diplomat, bishop, exhaustive autobiographer (13 volumes!) and medieval urban-planning trend-setter. And most of that occurred before he was even pope! His early ‘faults’ in life being no secret, that he redressed his motivations and developed into such a distinguished and likeable leader is particularly estimable. Noted above all for being ‘human’, an elusive papacy trait apparently, he’s also remembered for his tireless diplomacy, even in the face of uncooperative leaders and insurmountable odds.

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Tuscany Month continues with my on-the-ground, personally researched list of the best cheap sleeps in Tuscany. The Sleeping listings were one of the hardest hit sections in the beautifully crafted 2010 edition of Lonely Planet Tuscany & Umbria and with online accommodation booking making this section almost obsolete, it’s easy to understand why.

I realize that Tuscany is not one of the first places in the world that springs to mind when you think of budget travel. And honestly, assuming one doesn’t commit to campsites and bread and jam three meals a day, even utilizing my best Tuscany budget travel tips will still result in a somewhat serious cash outlay over a week or two compared to a similar interval in Bulgaria. Furthermore, one would be tempted, and sometimes correct, in assuming that anyone offering super-budget accommodations in high-priced Tuscany is probably renting out rooms in an abandoned wing of a mental hospital 12 kilometers outside of town.

Well, the good news is that there’s several passably cheap sleeps in Tuscany. Staying at a few of them will require you to have you own car, or heroic public bus patience and fortitude, but many are within easy walking distance from some of Tuscany’s best areas. Two caveats: I have not accounted for Florence and northwest Tuscany in this list, as this is not my research area, and I am not taking into account the sprinkling of semi-decent campsites in the region. I’m only including places with four permanent walls, proper beds and indoor plumbing. Also, prices listed were accurate as of spring/summer 2009.

There are, of course, a few HI hostels in the area. Though, as Italy backpacker veterans will probably agree, Italy’s HI hostels are, for the most part, well below the bar for European standards of cleanliness and location, to say nothing of the tendency for prison-caliber rules and the occasionally questionable mental stability of the proprietors. Unfortunately, unless you consider yourself among the greatest of all hostel warriors, for these reasons I cannot recommend the HI hostels in Livorno, Siena and Cortona.

Having said all that, in no particular order, the best cheap sleeps in Tuscany are:

Pensione Dante (Livorno)
Singles €30, doubles €40, triples €50 (breakfast included)
This is a great, centrally located place. New management brought in new floors, new beds, and vastly improved bathrooms and communal kitchen. Rooms are large and bare, some with a view of the canal, but everything is squeaky clean. The new breakfast room opens up to the canal as well and has a TV and coffee machine. When I last visited, though it’s not yet mentioned on their web site, they were preparing to open a B&B nearby.

Pensione Bartoli (Castiglioncello)
Singles €43-50, doubles €60-72 (closed November-Easter)
Located in the unpretentious (read, somewhat boring and strangely starved of decent eating options) seaside town of Castiglioncello, this villa is rich in character and offers unbeatable value. It’s an old-fashioned ‘let’s stay with grandma’ kind of place with 18 well-dusted, large rooms, lace curtains and venerable family furniture. Rooms 19 (the largest) and 21 have the best sea views.

Albergo Ape Elbana (Portoferraio, Isola d’Elba)
Singles €45-80, doubles €60-110 (including breakfast and parking)
Sitting enviably in the center of Portoferraio’s old town, overlooking Piazza della Repubblica (where guests can park for free). This butter-colored building is Elba’s oldest hotel, where guests of Napoleon are reputed to have stayed while he was briefly exiled on this pretty island. The location is its best feature as rooms, while large, are a little soulless. Ask for one of the larger ones looking onto the piazza.

Hotel La Perla (Siena)
Singles €40-60, doubles €70-85, triples €90-115 (no breakfast)
A very friendly and well-run budget option, considering its dead center location in one of Tuscany’s more pricey cities. Bathrooms are small and a few rooms are musty, but that’s a small price to pay for this otherwise excellent value, seconds from Piazza del Campo. Room 28 has an amazing view of San Domenico church and Room 26 overlooks the Duomo.

Hotel Le Tre Donzelle (Siena)
Singles with shared bathroom €38, doubles with shared bathroom €49, doubles with private bathroom €60
Central and popular, this hotel was originally constructed as a tavern in the 13th century. Rooms are clean and simple and the shared bathrooms are spotless. Ask for a room facing away from the noisy street.

Foresteria Monastero di San Girolamo (San Gimignano)
Per person €27 (Breakfast is €3, parking is available)
Run by friendly Benedictine nuns, this is an excellent quiet, budget choice in otherwise super expensive San Gimignano, with basic but spacious, comfortable rooms with attached bathrooms, sleeping two to five people. It’s a busy place, often hosting groups, so ring as far ahead as possible. If you don’t have a reservation, arrive between 9am and 12.30pm or between 3pm and 5.45pm and ring the monastery bell. You can also use their kitchen (€3 per day).

Il Giardino (Montalcino)
Tel. +39 (0) 577-84-82-57, email albergoilgiardino at virgilio dot it
Singles €40-45, doubles €55-60, triples €73-85 (including breakfast)
An excellent-value, family-run, friendly, two-star hotel overlooking Piazza Cavour. The pensioners running it don’t speak a lick of English, so have your phrasebook at the ready.

Le Case (Castiglione d’Orcia)
Singles €45, doubles €70, triples €85 (including breakfast, free internet access and wi-fi, closed Jan-mid-Mar)
The only agriturismo on the list and, in fact, probably the best value agriturismo in Tuscany. Just 1km south of Castiglione d’Orcia, this 18th-century stone farmhouse is run by a warm Italian couple. All five rooms are tastefully decorated and charming in their simplicity. Two elderly farmers can be regularly spotted around the property, resolutely continuing their daily chores. Somewhat remote (you definitely need your own car to stay here) and fittingly peaceful, nearby diversions include horseback riding, hiking, wine-tasting, and the spas. Discounts available for long stays.

Oliviera Camere (Pienza)
Singles €35, doubles €48 (both include breakfast); apartments (without breakfast) €70
Once an olive oil mill and squeezed into a side street in low-key, pedestrian-friendly Pienza, this place represents excellent value. Its four rooms are simple, but fresh and attractive. There are also three larger studio apartments. It’s great as a base of operations, as several buses a day pass through Pienza heading for both Siena and Montepulciano.

Bellavista (Montepulciano)
Tel. +39 (0) 347 823 23 14; email bellavista at bccmp dot com
Doubles €65-70 (Parking available)
This is an excellent choice if you’re traveling in pairs. Nearly all of its 10 high-ceiling, double rooms have fantastic views – room 6 has a private terrace. Some rooms have refrigerators and all have great beds. No-one lives here so phone ahead in order to be met and given a key (if you’ve omitted this stage, there’s a phone in the entrance lobby from where you can call).

La Cocciara (Cetona)
Per person €20
Horribly located in ho-hum Cetona (you’ll need a car to stay here), but it’s one of the precious few HI-affiliated youth hostels in Tuscany that won’t offend. Large, clean, safe and friendly. Bring earplugs, as noise from the busy road can be formidable.

Seminario di Sant’Andrea (Volterra)
Tel +39 (0) 588 8 60 28; email semvescovile at diocesivolterra dot it
Single with bathroom €14, double with bathroom €28; doubles with shared bathroom €36 (Breakfast is €3, parking available)
Still an active church retreat (but they welcome all comers), this is a peaceful, though slightly dilapidated place with vaulted ceilings and 20 large, clean rooms. A mere 600m or so from Piazza dei Priori.

View from room 6 in Albergo Guastini

Albergo Guastini (Pitigliano)
Singles €35-40, doubles €58-66, triples €84-92 (Breakfast is a steep €8; closed mid-Jan-mid-Feb)
This is Pitigliano’s only hotel, so it’s a good thing they’re friendly and welcoming. The main attraction here is that the hotel is perched on the edge of the cliff face, giving amazing view of the bastion (rooms 6 and 18 in particular). These are among the best hotel-room vistas in Tuscany. Its highly regarded restaurant (meals with a glass of wine, cost about €28) also merits a visit.

Camera Caffe (Arezzo)
Singles without bathroom €35; Singles with bathroom €40, doubles with bathroom €55 (breakfast included)
Across the street from Arezzo’s train station and reasonable walking distance from anything in the historic center, the dorm room decor here is supplemented by cushy beds and fat duvets. The huge, self-serve kitchen has a gorgeous dining terrace with city views. Some rooms have air-con.

Betania (Cortona)
Singles without bathroom €32, doubles without bathroom €42; doubles with bathroom €48
Just outside Cortona’s historic center, at the end of a gated, beautiful, tree-lined entrance, the large garden, great views and onsite church give the property a distinct monastic feel. They offer off-street parking for €25 per day, but the street parking is just fine.

La Casa sul Lago (Torricella, outside Perugia)
Dorm bed €16, private rooms €22-44 per person
I gave these guys the Killing Batteries bump in 2007 for Best Hostel, even though they are located just a few kilometers outside my region, in the tiny village of Torricella, only 50 meters from the shores of Lake Trasimeno in Umbria (where I lived for a few months). It’s a large place, that frequently hosts school groups in the summer (book in advance!), but the people running it are just awesome. The location is slightly inconvenient if you don’t have a car (the village has a train station on the Perugia-Florence line, but trains only stop a few times a day), but the lake-side village is super chill. They have a second location on Polvese Island that’s so beautiful and agriturismo-licious that people have been known to become giddy with pleasure during their stay and (almost) propose marriage to whatever female is in their company.

Ostello San Frediano (Lucca)
Dorm bed €18-20; double with private bathroom €55
OK, this one is outside my research territory too, but I stayed here for a few nights at the end of my trip in 2009 and they are just great. In fact, they’re outstanding by Italian HI Hostel standards. Inside the historic center, free parking, €8 dinners available, and housed in a massive, historic building.

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Welcome to the first of many Tuscany posts in the month of January, marking the release of a heartbreaking work of guidebooking genius, the 2010 edition of Lonely Planet Tuscany & Umbria.

I don’t normally make such a big deal about the release of my guidebooks, but this particular guidebook is special, because, what with the lavish redesign, it’s effectively a first edition. Everyone busted their respective asses molding the old content into a gutsy new style, which is only being applied to select LP titles. There’s lots of changes: new maps, easier to navigate layout and better organized practical information, among other things.

The downside was that a scat-load of words had to be sacrificed to make this game-changing redesign. This text reduction was made possible by listing fewer eating and accommodation options, shortening site descriptions and, in some cases, tragically chopping out whole towns. As I’ve repeatedly made clear in the past, guidebook research, even in Tuscany, can be a ball-busting drag some days. But having to go home after all that pavement pounding and slash vast portions of text that literally took days to research drove me to weeping, desk-pounding, expletive-hollering despair on more than a few occasions. (My office can be a very dramatic place, as you might have gathered)

Well, it’s time to take those lemons and make limoncello. Amongst the sneak previews, my own Top 11 lists and extended tips and reviews that I’ll be posting this month, I’ll also be re-purposing (as we like to say in publishing circles) much of the Tuscany content lost to my reduced word count limits. Armed with the new edition and the grenades of info, tips and quips that I’ll be listing here, when you go to Tuscany you’ll be the envy of, well, me for starters. Boy, do I miss that food.

The first installment of the Lost Tuscany Text, is a box text about St Catherine of Siena, an A-List saint if there ever was one. Some of you Killing Batteries old timers may recognize chucks of this text, because I posted a longer, less informative, but far more hilarious version of the piece two years ago, entitled “Good for nothing kid or future saint?”. Sadly, this enlightening and wit-soaked box, which I wrote specifically for the previous edition of Tuscany & Umbria, did not survive the editor’s ‘delete’ button for the new edition, so I’m posting it here in its entirety:

‘Mom! Catherine’s Consecrating Her Virginity to Jesus Again!!’

Saint Catherine of Siena (1347-1380), co-patron saint of Italy and one of only two female Doctors of the Church, was born in Siena, the 23rd child out of 25 (her twin sister died at birth). Like a true prodigy, she had a religious fixation at a very early age. She is said to have entertained plans to impersonate a man so she could be a Dominican friar and occasionally raced out to the road to kiss the place where Dominicans had walked.

At the dubious age of seven, she consecrated her virginity to Christ, much to her family’s despair. At 18 she assumed the life of a Dominican Tertiary (lay-affiliate) and, as wayward teens are wont to do, chose initially to live as a recluse in the family’s basement, focused on devotion and spiritual ecstasy. She was noted for her ability to fast for extended periods, living only on the Blessed Sacrament, which as nutritionists might attest, probably contributed to a delirium or two. Catherine described one such episode as a ‘mystical marriage’ with Jesus. Feeling a surge of humanity (or possibly boredom), she emerged from her cloistered path and began caring for the sick and poor.

Another series of visions set in Hell, Purgatory and Heaven, compelled Catherine to take her work to the next level. Though it’s said she didn’t actually learn to write until near the end of her life, she began an ambitious and fearless letter-writing campaign – dictating up to three letters to three secretaries simultaneously – to all variety of influential people, including lengthy correspondence with Pope Gregory XI. She beseeched royalty and religious leaders for everything from peace between Italy’s republics to reform within the clergy. This go-getter, early form of activism was considered highly unusual for a woman at the time and her no-holds-barred style, sometimes scolding cardinals and queens like naughty children, was gutsy by any standard. And yet, rather than being persecuted for her insolence, she was admired, her powers of persuasion often winning the day where so many others had failed.

She is said to have experienced the stigmata, but this event was suppressed as it was considered bad form at the time to associate the stigmata with anyone but St Francis.

Acting as an ambassador to Florence, she went to Avignon and was able to convince Pope Gregory XI to bring the papacy back to Rome after a seven-pope, 73-year reign in France. A few years later she was invited to Rome by newly elected Pope Urban VI to campaign on his behalf during the Pope/anti-pope struggle (the ‘great western Schism’) where she did her best to undo the effects that his temper and shortcomings were having on Rome. This heroic, utterly exhausting effort likely contributed to her untimely death in 1380 at the age of 33.

Catherine’s abundant postmortem accolades started relatively soon after her death when Pope Pius II canonized her in 1461. More recently, Pope Paul VI bestowed Catherine with the title of Doctor of the Church in 1970 and Pope John Paul II made her one of Europe’s patron saints in 1999. Additionally, despite having received no formal education, her letters (over 300 have survived) are considered to be great works of Tuscan literature.

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It’s finally done. I know this is incredibly delayed (I finished my Tuscany research trip over a month ago), but I felt I needed to review and carefully consider my notes before posting this authoritative, yet decidedly subjective list.

Caveats: Of course there are caveats. Chiefly, I’m not taking into consideration all of Tuscany in this list. My territory of research for LP is Central, the Coast (including Isola d’Elba), Eastern and Southern Tuscany. In other words, not Florence and not Northwest Tuscany (Lucca, Pisa, etc).

Also, although I’ve now done guidebook research in this territory twice and can cautiously declare myself an expert, I am merely one man – one exceptionally gifted, insightful, smokin’ hot, dignified, semi-sober man – and Tuscany is a densely packed region of almost limitless awesomeness. By my estimation, there are about 3,475 notable scenic drives, 374,622 agriturismi, 1,273,938,294 restaurants (roughly) and so on. Obviously I did not drive/visit/eat at every one of these options. Relying on experience, meetings with tourism reps, reader letters, conversations with local characters, etc, I endeavored to review some of the best options that time, the elements and word count limits would allow. So if you don’t see your favorite whatever here, it’s not because I’m an incompetent halfwit that didn’t actually visit Tuscany before doing the write-up. This is all too frequently the conclusion that people authoring hate mail to me jump to when I don’t mention the amazing, third generation, mom and pop trattoria they presumptuously “discovered”, like it was an archeological find from 1000 BC. By the way, they’re almost all third generation, mom and pop trattorie, people.

What I’m getting at is that it’s likely I didn’t get to review the absolute best of everything. That’s just how this job goes. Maybe if there were six of me (which would be spectacular, even without Tuscany) and each of us had three months on the road, perhaps this would be viable, but unfortunately that is not the case. I hope I have not destroyed your other-worldly, mystical fantasy of how guidebooks are made.

Now that I’ve excused myself from all fault, here are my “Best/Worst of Tuscany” and “What Happened?” lists for 2009.

Best/Worst of Tuscany

•    Best drive: This is a tough one to nail down. Incredible driving scenery in Tuscany is more profuse than douchebags at a Brewer’s game. In Central Tuscany the stretch between Abbazia di Monte Oliveto Maggiore and Asciano is by far the one where I wished I was the passenger in the car and not the driver. In Southern Tuscany, the bit between Albinia and Magliano in Toscana gets awfully pretty for the last 10 km. On the Coast, the back road connecting Sassetta and Suvereto is hailed by a local cycling journalist as being one of the best in all of Italy for biking and motorcycling, to which I agree whole-heartedly.
•    Worst drive: Anywhere within the Livorno city limits.
•    Best parking: Cortona. Close to the historic city center and free.
•    Worst parking: It’s a tie between Livorno and Arezzo.
•    Best view from a hotel room: I’m giving it to the same place as last time, the Albergo Guastini in Pitigliano. Specifically, rooms six and 18, among others. There’s just no equal. Pitigliano is also far and away the winner of the ‘Coolest looking hill town from a distance’ award, if you’re interested.
•    Best Hostel: Sadly, the best hostel in my territory is in one of the least noteworthy areas. I’m talking La Cocciara in tiny, ho-hum Cetona. The hostel is large, clean, safe, friendly and has great beds, but apart from some fine dining in town and the inviting climb on Monte Cetona, there’s really not much to keep you in the area.
•    Best hotel room (budget): Santa Margherita in Cortona. Run by sweet, obliging nuns and just completed a total renovation, including new beds, fresh paint, and sparkling bathrooms. Honorable mention goes to Pensione Weekend in Porto Santo Stefano, on the Monte Argentario peninsula.
•    Best hotel room (mid-range): Antica Residenza Cicogna in Siena. Springless beds, soundproof windows, ornate frescoes, free wi-fi, antique furniture, huge buffet breakfast and a great location. What’s not to love?
•    Best hotel room (high-end): La Frateria di Padre Eligio, also near ho-hum Cetona. (Am I missing something here? Is there a major attraction nearby that I somehow drove past while grappling with the GPS?) It’s a gorgeous former convent dating from 1212, lovingly restored and converted into an unforgettable seven-room hotel and gourmet restaurant.
•    Worst hotel room: Unlike in 2007, I managed to get through the entire trip without being the victim of bedbugs. I stayed in some shabby places, but none of them were flat-out awful. So, instead of naming the worst room, I’ll name the worst service, which was hands-down the disastrously pretentious Hotel Vogue in Arezzo. I didn’t stay there, but my time in reception was probably the most frustrating, customer service-starved 10 minutes of the entire trip. They started out cagy and difficult and then, even after I relented and identified myself, they refused to give me prices, refused to let me see a room and refused to smile (or look away from his computer screen in one clerk’s case). Kiss all your Lonely Planet business goodbye!
•    Worst city for overall accommodations: Though there’s a new, promising budget contender that has yet to prove themselves, overall, Livorno has the worst price-to-value accommodation options in Tuscany. This is unfortunate, as they don’t exactly have the strongest visitor appeal, unless eating at endless exceptional seafood restaurants is enough to snare long-stay visitors. I imagine their biggest tourism hotel customer base are those people arriving late or departing early on ferries, so we’re talking one overnight max, whereas if they lowered prices a bit, people might be inclined to stay longer, giving them more money and less work turning over the rooms. Capice?
•    Best wine: Once again, Vernaccia di San Gimignano. Though I’d be remiss in my duties if I didn’t mention the incredible, relatively discounted prices one can get if they shop carefully in Montalcino for very decent bottles of the coveted Burnello.
•    Most over-rated wine: It was amazing, don’t get me wrong, but I’d have a hard time finding the money to regularly indulge in the Super Tuscan Sassicaia, made in Bolgheri, for €20 per 10cc pour.
•    Best plate of pasta: This is how unfair the universe is: the best plate of pasta I saw in Tuscany was not consumed by me, but by my companion! I got a small taste and that was it! For the record it was the buckwheat lasagna au gratin with pheasant and fennel seeds on a base of creamed garlic and squash. Anyone whose saliva glands aren’t running at full power right now should see a doctor, because it was cra-zay. This complex miracle of gastronomic wizardry was served at Antica Osteria da Divo in Siena. I’ve gotta give two honorable mentions (that I actually ate): the first was the Spinach ravioli with walnut and radicchio sauce, served at Ristorante Don Beta in Volterra. The other was the Chianina beef and tarragon ravioli with porcini mushrooms and cherry tomatoes, a tiny but nonetheless amazing dish I had at Sobborgo in Cetona (there’s that town again).
•    Best meal: Price being no object (without resorting to Michelin Star restaurants), I’m giving this one to Ristorante Don Beta in Volterra. I ate there twice and although the service on the second visit was wooden at best, the food standard was with either superior or beyond both times. Also, as my companion pointed out, the place was full of locals, which you don’t often find at higher end restaurants in tourist towns.
•    Best budget meal: This one was easy, Cantina Senese in Livorno. Excellent seafood at prices dock workers will pay.
•    Worst meal: I have to be careful here. Last time I called out the place that food poisoned me, the owner went nuts and emailed me repeatedly. Instead, I’ll just say how disappointed I was that the formerly great and relatively affordable restaurants that sit on the northeast edge of Piazza Grande in Arezzo have started to charge 10-15% service charges on top of the coperto, which is just unnecessarily greedy and opportunistic. They still have wonderful meals, but staring at not one, but two compulsory tips on the bill irritates a special place in my soul.
•    Best gelato: Gelateria di Piazza in San Gimignano, who I named in 2007, is still doing great work, but I was very impressed with newcomer Visola del Gusto in Volterra, whose signature flavor redefines the word ‘creamy’.
•    Best town: I’m still a die-hard Cortona fan. As I said in 2007, I like the funky streets, cinematic houses and the fact they manage to maintain eateries serving great food at decent prices. This year they were even better, with some major improvements in the budget accommodation options (see ‘Best hotel room [budget]‘ above). However in the interest of fairness, I’m going to give the bump to Portoferraio, on the island of Elba. It’s got fun streets, interesting Napoleonic history and too many good restaurants to fit into the space that I was allotted to write about them in the book. Just avoid it in June/July/August or you’ll have difficulty enjoying most if not all of these perks. Also, the accommodation situation could use improvement. Entrepreneurs, get going.
•    Best big city: As in 2007, it’s Siena. There’s nothing like it.
•    Best beach: Passable beaches are on the coast, like just south of Livorno or the less objectionable profiteering beach towns like Castiglioncello, but the island of Elba still takes honors. If you don’t like rubbing oiled-up elbows with strangers, head for the southeast corner of the island. There’s a bunch of places that take a little effort to reach, meaning they’re pretty roomy, even in high season.
•    Best monastery: Again this is a toughie, but I found myself more impressed this time around by Abbazia di Monte Oliveto Maggiore near Asciano. The fresco cycles by Luca Signorelli and Il Sodoma are just amazing.
•    Best agriturismo: In 2007 my bump went to Agriturismo San Lorenzo, just 2km outside of Volterra, which I still love with the heat of a thousand espressos.  However, I was introduced to a new winner this year that takes the title, La Cerreta, outside of Sassetta. They’ve been at it for over 20 years, engineering a ‘self-sufficient, biodynamic, harmonic project’, a mindset and lifestyle that will cause all but the most die-hard city lover to re-think their lives. They aim for a simple, gastronomically authentic Tuscan lifestyle. They raise cinta senese (indigenous Tuscan pig), Maremma cows, and the rare Livornese chicken, among others and welcome WWOOFers for short and long-term stays. When I visited they were close to finishing their brand new, three-pool spa, using a thermal spring that they’d discovered late last year.

What Happened?

•    Number of days on the road: 31
•    Number of genuine rest days in that time: 2
•    Drove about 2,200 kilometers (about 1,367 miles)
•    Percentage of time while driving that I was being tailgated by a deranged Italian, under the impression that he was racing for pole position:  50%
•    Most dangerous passing: a van three times the size of my car rode my ass on a violently twisty mountain rode for about 10 minutes – I was already going fast enough to scatter books and papers and test the traction and suspension on my Panda – then finally passed me on a 150 meter stretch between blind curves and careened out of sight. Asshat.
•    Average temperature: 60 degrees  Fahrenheit (15.6 Celsius)
•    Number of days that I could walk around without a jacket or umbrella: 2
•    Number of times I did laundry in 30 days:  1 and 1/2
•    Number of towns visited:  65, (not counting all the little resort-towns, rural abbeys, parks, random castles, and bumps in the road that required me to pull over to check a fact)
•    Number of cumulative hours spent lost:  five (huge improvement over the ’1.8 billion squillion hours’ I spent lost in 2007)
•    Number of times I cursed lazy/confusing/nonexistent Italian signage at lunatic volume until I became horse: three
•    Number of times that my GPS crashed, ran out of power, got confused by dense cities, took me on unnecessary detours or otherwise failed me: 18 (still, in addition to my familiarity with the region, it’s what most saved me from being constantly lost on this trip)
•    Number of times I parked illegally:  countless
•    Number of parking tickets:  zero
•    Number of free wi-fi clouds that I found:  22 (much improved this year, mainly because I was armed with my awesome Blackberry, allowing me to pirate wi-fi while loitering in front of random hotels, cafes and doorsteps, though searching these out still took a lot of energy, as most hubs were  password protected)
•    Number of cups of coffee consumed: 257 (I tried to show a little restraint this year, 2007 got a little out of control)
•    Number of people who told me that I had their dream job:  31
•    Number of times that people who only talked to me for 15 minutes in 2007 unsettlingly recognized me as soon as I walked in the door: 14
•    Number of reverent, nubile, females whose hearts I broke with my good looks, coveted job and fleeting, dashing presence: zero
•    Number of reverent, nubile, males whose hearts I broke with my good looks, coveted job and fleeting, dashing presence: three
•    Number of people who charitably told me “No, no! Your Italian is just fine!”: one
•    Number of mornings I woke up and said “OK, no wine with dinner tonight. This has gotta stop. I’m dying here.” then had wine with dinner: seven

Agonizing over travel insurance? Maybe I can help…

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