Perhaps I’ve mentioned that freelance travel writing isn’t a cash cow career path. It’s more like a cash squirrel career path. And not those fat, waddling squirrels in Central Park either. I’m talking those emaciated, wild-eyed squirrels you see on safari, that are so deranged from malnourishment that they’ll mix it up with six lions and a crocodile for a bite of baby water buffalo…
There are no baby water buffalo wandering around the Killing Batteries Command Center in downtown Minneapolis, but there are a few sushi places with good lunch specials. Furthermore, I need new glasses. So I’ve daringly decided to test the upper limits of freelance travel writing earnings potential, turning my back on the Poverty Line and clawing like a starving, nearsighted squirrel for the Sushi Line.
The Sushi Line, a concept cleverly hatched by my distinguished Lonely Planet colleague Robert Reid, perfectly encapsulates the income and resultant lifestyle I’m aiming for. Living at the Sushi Line doesn’t mean a five bedroom house with high-end home theater components or a diamond studded Blackberry or a custom painted Vespa… Well, a Vespa wouldn’t hurt, maybe with a classy little horn that plays “La Cucaracha”?
The Sushi Line is, in fact, a very modest standard of living. Mr. Reid sums it up like so:
“I have a theory that all humans are born with the right to live at or above ‘the sushi line,’ meaning you have the means to go and get sushi whenever the desire arises. Not every day. But when the occasion comes up, you don’t have to count pennies. Just go, eat, enjoy, get the green-tea ice cream. Write a poem, relax. Next day ramen will be fine.”
That’s all I’m asking. And some waterproof hiking boots.
Meanwhile, does ‘Sushi Line’ belong in the popular lexicon or what? Since I’ve given up all hope on ‘jackhole’, I’m going to refocus my broad influence on popular dictum and start pushing ‘Sushi Line’. Please lend a hand. I want Jon Stewart to use it on the air before Thanksgiving.
Waterproof hiking boots? I think that Blackberry Curve might start feeling a little jealous… ;-)
Freelance travel writing may not be a cash cow, but how about a “freedom cow” (Yeah, I know it’s bad. I’m sorry.) Would you rather be freelancing while wishing for the sushi line, or sitting in a carpet-walled cage from 9-5 every day, just for the chance to eat some overpriced fish every once in a while?
I know where I’d rather be, but the grass is always greener on the other side of… well, whatever thing you’re on the side of now. Who knows what I’d wish for if I actually had what I think I want.
And as far as the boots, may I recommend the Vasque Breeze (http://www.rei.com/product/737707?vcat=REI_SEARCH)? They’ve kept me dry for a few hundred miles so far.
Oh, and if you ever decide to write a book about all your travels, I’ll sacrifice the green-tea ice cream to pre-order it.
Thanks for the great blog and the laughs.
needs more crocodile
I had to stop with 5:58 left. Was that kind of shortsighted of Mama and Papa Water Buffalo, or what? Do they, too, need glasses?
If I can regain my appetite by then, I’ll have some low end supermarket sushi for lunch.
My husband uses the word “Jackhole” all the time. Don’t give up on it.
Te Pup!
I agree on the Vasques. I’ve got the same ones, and they’ve taken punishment.
I agree with Quinn up there. Jackhole is popular among my friends, and I occasionally randomly hear it when around town. Keep it going.
J.R. – Thank you for the boot referral. And I’ve just been informed that REI is having a sale. I’m on it.
Lucas – You know it bro. And some hippo wouldn’t hurt either.
Anne Marie – that whole video seemed to indicate that the survival of the fittest has nothing to do with running, biting or tackling. Just a little common sense and self-preservation and anyone could be king of the jungle. Even the lions weren’t showing much foresight. I tell you, if one of my buddies had been gored and thrown eight feet in the air, I’d be a speck on the horizon, with nothing but a floating dust trail to prove I was ever there.
Quinn/Amanda – Thanks for the Jackhole News. I feel a renewed sense of purpose.
Love this blog post! We should all aspire to be at the Sushi line!
Interesting concept… the ‘sushi line’ is already a part of my vernacular. then again, I live in Japan next to a Sushi Meijin so its actually one of the cheapest meals around (¥100 sushi!!).
No way! ¥100 sushi? You lie!! Is it rat sushi? Man, I miss Japan.
I posted a video I made, trying to get a camera around on one of the sushi conveyor belts:
http://blog.tylerbell.net/2008/04/19/conveyor-belt-sushi/