Even after having spent so much time living and traveling in Italy, I’m still completely baffled as to why Silvio Berlusconi, ex-prime minister, media mogul and bunga bunga party master isn’t:

A)    In jail.
B)    In crazy jail.
C)    In crazy jail on the Moon where there’s no chance of escape without Bruce Willis’ help.

Apparently being a squillionaire and effectively above the law isn’t the key to happiness. Poor Silvio additionally wants people to be nice to him and his family, while he engages in staggering, voluminous, ongoing illegal activities.

In a television interview about his latest book, a victimized Berlusconi complained “My children say that they feel like Jewish families in Germany under Hitler’s regime. Truly, everyone is against us.”

I know, right? Ongoing “hounding by leftist magistrates” and being shamed by a country full of wronged, hot-blooded Italians is exactly like six million people being murdered. But, with nicer clothes, obvs.

[Via]