Tomorrow I fly back to Romania for the second time in three months like a jet-setting badass to complete my LP guidebook research, wallow in the fame of being a travel writing all-star, beat off amorous groupies with my medical burro riding crop and sleep soundly every night with the knowledge that my life kicks so much ass that my government actually imposes extra taxes on me for it.
If only.
I’m not going to deny that there are days that I struggle into my home-office desk chair at the crack of noon, with a mug of chocolate-flavored coffee, no boss in sight, having not donned shoes or a shirt in over 24 hours, read my two pieces of daily fan mail (and delete my 37 pieces of hate mail) and finally get to the grave task of writing caustic remarks and cheap shots about Berlin, Jesus and the slightly dry steak I ate while in First Class during my last flight over the Pacific, but equally, this job has its moments of sobering wretchedness.
Since I’m comfortably at the experience and wisdom levels now that allow me to accurately see into the future (by the way, it’s Splitsville for Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman in 2009), I’ll give you a preview of subjects you’re like to read about in this blog – or more likely, on my Twitter page – over the next three weeks while I’m on the road in Romania:
• The hair-melting heat wave that’s descending on southern Romania as I write this
• People that work in Romanian tourism, that plainly loathe tourists
• Why in Buddha’s name did I choose to research in July, knowing that every decent hotel would be booked for weeks?
• How many Ibuprofen per day I’m taking to fight back the hip pain
• How little clothing women bother with on the Black Sea coast
• The ethical dilemma of being treated like a vagrant by people whose businesses I could make or break with one sentence in the book
• Loud hostels/little sleep
• Has anyone sent me a check recently?
• I have exactly zero confirmed work for after September 1st – do I worry about finances or celebrate the long-overdue break?
• I’d kill for a cheeseburger
And so goes the head-spinning highs and demoralizing lows in the life of a travel writer.
All possible adversity, pain and humiliation aside, this is actually shaping up to be the easiest bit of guidebook research of my short career. I’ve got three weeks to do about two weeks worth of work, almost everywhere I’m going is unspeakably awesome (e.g. Sibiu, Braşov, Danube Delta, Black Sea Coast), and if things go well I’ll spend the final two or three days sitting on a beach and practicing my Romanian with some of Europe’s most beautiful women.
Now I have to go pack my guidebook writer cape and tights (the lavender or the burgundy, I can never decide), review my Romanian curse words and lewd gestures for that first drive through Bucharest, shave my head for optimum speed-walking aerodynamics and eat one last cheeseburger to offset the 5-8 pounds that I’m about to lose.
glad to hear that LP are coming to romania to update information. Yes Romania has a long way to go and a lot to learn. Customer service is not a skill highly recognised here, quality of good accommodation especially in the north is scarce and star rating is a bit of a lottery with even the Secretary of State for Tourism admitting that a lot of establishments choose their own rating as she doesn’t have the staff to check up. Finding a tourist information centre is a bit like a clue in an episode of ‘The Amazing Race’ -(Bucharest does not have one at all!), and when you do find one such as in Brasov for example, the shelves are pretty much empty. In fact, although Romania talks a good talk about tourism and its recognition of its importance, the truth is that it is mostly talk with budgets and staff being insufficient. In addition, lack of good roads means it takes twice as long to get anywhere, and there is of course the issue of the rubbish or garbage as the US woudl say. Having said all that, as british nationals living and working in romania, we believe in tourism in this country – enough to have set up our own travel and events business here. We certainly do not loathe tourists, we love the hot summers providing romania with mediterranean summers, are able to buy cheeseburgers if wanted and like you appreciate the awesome scenery around the country and the welcoming friendliness of the romanian people. Enjoy your trip.
Oh yeah, the heat wave. Geez. I was talking to a friend of mine from over there and asked him how hot it was. He said 39 degrees. Which confused me until I found a temperature converter online and changed it to fehrenheight.
Still with the hip pain? You need to get that looked at. Wouldn’t it be funny if you had to start using a cane?
And can you blame them for wearing so little clothing? I mean, after all it is a hot summer.
And a shaved head “for optimum speed walking aerodynamics”?? Hahahaha, you make me laugh.
Also- if I were you, I’d go with the burgundy. ;)
I urge you to reconsider the chocolate-flavored coffee–it’s just not manly.
Kamara – The tide is turning (slowly) on those tourist offices though. Have you seen the new ones in Iaşi and Cluj? My God, it’s like heaven. And, all due respect, but after 19 cumulative months of living, working and traveling in Romania I have never seen nor heard tell of an edible cheese burger. I have high standards, though.
Mary – I’d love to use a cane. That way I could whack the trunks of the cars that almost run me down. And I’m not complaining about the scantly clad, achingly gorgeous women. Indeed, I’d put that information in the guidebook if they’d let me. It’s just a little distracting is all.
Jamie – Trust me, I’m securely man enough to drink chocolate flavored coffee. If I were any more man, I’d have to shave my forehead.
” How little clothing women bother with on the Black Sea coast”
really the only important thing that matters. At least you’ll have something to look it.
Hey, welcome back in Romania, Leif!
So, if the A/C in your cheap Korean rental is working, don’t forget to visit Adamclisi, and Histria, and Enisala (Heracleea). Roman, Greek and Venetian cities near the Black Sea, pretty well preserved.
And good luck with the hotels, they’re pretty much 100% full right now.
…”hair-melting heat wave”…
You want heat – come to California. It’s so hot (alright, I’ll bite, “how hot is it?”) your hair–which apparently you don’t have, anyway–would vaporize BEFORE it could melt.
I think it up in the 50’s or 60’s of that temperature scale that starts with the letter “C” (Cemigrade?)
Sorry that you are so hip that it hurts. (Couldn’t help myself.)
Advil, vodka, and scantily-dressed woman are an old, midwestern cure for hip ailments. Have a great trip!
so you must be around here now.
heatwave, you have it as ordered, sir, and you cannot do a thing about it. for the rest, hotels and backpain, there’s cure. you can try and see the bottom-end hotels, hostels and so. they won’t be that booked. or a tent :)
you’ll be fine without the cheeseburger, too. if you reach as south as Vama Veche, give it a try to that crepperie on the right side of the street (it’s only one street that matters in Vama Veche, you cannot miss it). they are fabulous. they have like 25 fillings for the creppes, that goes from slighty salted and purrfect for a beer, to creppes soaked in chocolate sauce and honey. you’ll be fine, do trust a Romanian.
as a seaside resort, I’d recommend 2 Mai. it’s near Mangalia, on the way to the Bulgarian customs, (same as the above mentioned Vama Veche – which translated would mean The Old Custom), but it’s, well, I cannot say pristine, since there’s nothing left pristine out of our 45 kmts of seashore-which-can-be-considered-beach. 2 Mai is a resort with a breath of its own. you’ll like it.
oh, yes, in 2 Mai, on the marina, there’s a small restaurant (close to the nudist beach) that serves so many fish dishes that you don’t know what to chose from.
Maybe in the updated Romania travel guide you could include the telephone codes that you allude to in the deepest darkest depths of the LP guide (Ed 4) but cleverly leave out despite saying to refer to them on front page?? Aarggh! The one time I travel to a country where I require constant telephone use and your guide let me down. I could not locate said telephone codes that are promised to be somewhere inside the front cover…..?
Hi Leslie – not sure which phone code you’re referring to. If it’s the local phone code for each city, that’s at the top of each city section. If you’re talking dialing out of Romania, that’s in the Directory, in the back, in the Telephone section. If you’re being referred to the front of the book, some editor made a boo-boo.