Here’s a bullet point list with random facts about me for you busy, information-byte-inclined people with precious little time to read about how neat I am:
• My full name is Leif Even Pettersen. ‘Leif’ sounds like the word ‘life’. ‘Even’ sounds like the name ‘Evan’. ‘Pettersen’ is with the ‘pet’ sound, not the ‘peet’ sound. It should go without saying that no one has ever spelled or pronounced my name correctly on the first try.
• Even though my family came over from Norway like six generations ago, I’ve been blessed with a just-off-the-boat, Norwegian name. Every time I meet someone new, I have to explain that ‘Leif’ is a traditional name that means ‘beloved son’ and that, no, my parents were not hippies. Well, actually they were big-time hippies, but that’s not why I’m named ‘Leif’. This speech is very well rehearsed now, with exquisitely timed throw-away jokes and pauses for the laughter to die down. During this speech, so that it doesn’t run too long (like this explanation), I have a tendency to just say ‘I’m Norwegian’, much to the exasperation of people actually born in Norway.
• I’m 42 years old.
• I look 30-32 depending on how hungover I am.
• I am originally from Minneapolis, Minnesota.
• I have been a struggling travel writer since June 2003.
• My sixth and seventh assignments for Lonely Planet were updating the next editions of Europe on a Shoestring and Eastern Europe. My Lonely Planet work also appears in Tuscany & Umbria, Romania and Italy (uncredited for reasons too tedious to go into).
• In late 2007 I re-settled in my native Minneapolis after over four years of homelessness, during which time I lived in temporary residences in Cadiz, Spain; Iasi, Romania; Torregrande (Oristano), Italy and Torricella, Italy (between extended periods of traveling like a bastard).
• I retired from the Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis at age 33, after nine years of semi-dedicated, fickle service in a variety of positions, eventually focusing on electronic payments systems.
• I have been a juggler of varying degrees of dedication since age 12, making me the most coordinated and dexterous person you’ll ever meet (unless you meet a better juggler).
• Though I was born right-handed, after 30 years of juggling I am now effectively ambidextrous. The only thing I can’t do just as well with my left hand as with my right is shoot a basketball.
• I have what I refer to as a Selective Photographic Memory. Examples:
o I can’t remember the name of my hostel, but I can repeat, verbatim, a conversation I had 15 years ago.
o I am terrible with names, but I never forget a face.
o I can’t remember the brand names of wines that I drink three times a week, but I can memorize lists of foreign words and phrases with very little effort.
• I like chocolate.
• I type with exactly four fingers: thumb, index and middle on the right hand, middle on the left.
• I can escape from a straitjacket in less than two minutes.
• Yes, really.
• Don’t ask why I can escape from a straitjacket in less than two minutes.
• On a related note, I can never go back to Singapore.
• I am a bit of a language nut. I have studied German, Norwegian, sign language, Romanian, Italian and Spanish, only the latter three of which I can utilize with any effectiveness. Next on my list is French. Or possibly grammatically correct English, but I doubt it.
• I have never taken a writing class.
• I’m long-winded and I don’t care. Just between you and me, when this threatens my word count limit, I employ-creative-hyphenation to confuse editors.
• I smell really good. My sweat has aphrodisiac properties so strong that it could make giant pandas mate.
• I’ve worked as a juggler, actor, college radio DJ, wedding DJ, switchboard operator (twice), home office sales guy at a lamentable electronics store that rhymes with ‘Test Tie’, ESL teacher, administrative assistant, electronic payments helpdesk agent, electronic payments application specialist, electronic payments business analyst, electronic payments high speed network analyst and bumbling, yet adorable travel writer.
• Still reading? Well, it only gets more obscure from here.
• I am the best parallel parker I have ever seen.
• I was born with a tracheal-esophageal fistula (my esophagus was damaged and I couldn’t eat). It was repaired that same day and now I have a gnarly scar on my back that I tell people is from a machete injury.
• One time, I spent two uninterrupted weeks confined to the Minneapolis Skyway system as a livability test (stunt) for an article I was writing. I also blogged about the experience.
• Innie
• Will rap for food.
• An informal poll taken in Malaysia and Thailand revealed that nine out of 10 people think I look like David Beckham, which is good enough for me.
• If you’re still reading, you may be searching for my email address, so here you go:
Emails from groupies and people offering (paying!) work are given all due priority.
Wow…I discovered your website during travel voting (yeah, I did cast a mark your way) and have been perusing your wonderous words over the past few days. Hope you do get a book deal as I would love to read more. Your ramblings and musings remind me a lot of one of my favorite books “Holidays in Hell” by PJ O’Rourke. (Intended compliment .)
a new fan,
reen
wow, that is a very Norwegian name :-) How is your Norwegian lessons coming along? :-) You have an extensive list of travelogues on you page http://www.leifpettersen.com/ . No offense…but you should try to brush up the layout a bit to make it more “sexy”. Happy travels :-)
Regards
Gard
Stavanger, Norway
met you with a friend of mine (and yours from fed res) in downtown mpls, you gave me your card and had not looked up the site till now. very impressed, love your writing(s). currently caring for a patient from romania, difficult to feed…wants lemon juice in vegie soup, lemon or honey or applesauce in water, tomatoes, baked potato every meal, etc…has beliefs re health benefits of sweet vs sour. i like her. thanks for sharing your business card, i enjoyed your site and will keep as you’re extremely talented. keep on.
Hi, Leif,
I work with the U.S. Department of Transportation, which has just launched a public awareness program called SafeTravel. In keeping with your site’s theme, sort of, SafeTravel’s first public awareness push is about traveling safely with batteries and battery-powered devices.
Take a look at http://SafeTravel.dot.gov. You may even find some of these handy in your own travels.
We’d love to be linked to in your “links” area, and would also appreciate any further mention you could make of this public awareness campaign.
Sincerely,
Dan Halberstein
Office of Hazardous Materials Initiatives and Training
Pipeline and Hazardous Materials Safety Administration
hi!
this is Merdina,a groupie writing!I really like the things you write and the way you look.How about including Athens in your travelogues, so that I can provide valuable information, plus treat you to Greek spirits, like OUZO? Anyway,I really loved how talented you are and just like to mention,you just met your match in talent and looks. Personal info:English teacher, travel freak, great at finding parking spaces even outside the busiest streets in the world, world-famous for clumsiness and humour!
Bye-bye!
your writings are great. “driving in Romania” was very useful prep.
My son and I plan to drive around Romania for 5 days during Thanksgiving week. We’re from Florida. He manages a restaurant and I’m a management consultant. any advice for us Leif?
I do believe your many postings have attracted new fans…if Dan is for real, then you now have a GOV name/link that might prove useful at some point in time (like getting back into Italy!).
Dear lord, I just spent 3 minutes wracking my brain to think of an electronics store that sounds like Dessdooey.
Hope all is well Leif! Welcome back to the land of double wide shopping carts, Paris Hilton and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
I’ll write soon. It’s been too long.
I want to be you.
Seriously.
Hi, just found your website via another which was about climing Mount Kinabalu, I wish I had found these websites BEFORE going to Malaysia as I was convinced by people I would not be able to manage the climb or altitude so we stayed around our very nice hotel in Kota Kinabalu but next time DEFINITELY will at least attempt the climb as it sounds really worth the effort and a real achievement, though I suffer from vertigo very badly I would try it anyway. Had a hideous journey back to Heathrow, as our late flight from KK aiport was cancelled meaning we missed our connection back from Kuala Lumpur and had a flight finally allocated to us from KK about 11 hours later, luckily the connecting flight from KL was really empty so we were able to stretch out on 4 seats, down side to this was that something on the seats or blankets bit and bit for the whole 13 hours! Have decided that in future I will try and avoid 2 flights together – apart from the fact I have booked to go riding to Patagonia in February – 3 flights each way…. What made the delay experience ok was the company of another UK couple we happened by chance to be flying with – they were so nice and amusing and cheerful it passed the time nicely.
I too love to write, have sent off 2 articles recently to in flight mags / UK magazines, to see what they might accept – no luck so far but still writing Amazon reviews and moving rapidly up the ranks – at least I can see something in print -and now they have introduced “comments” I have had a few nice ones! and now at least they send me books FREE to review every month!
your website is favourited – glad I came across it!
Julie
x
Hi Leif,
Just found your site and have enjoyed reading your writing, keep it up and best of luck with everything.
Sean
loved reading your travelogue. keep the off beat tempo!
I would have to dispute the ‘best parallel parker’ claim, as I believe that honor belongs to me. In fact, if I were ever in the Miss Universe competition, that would be my talent: Parallel parking a stick shift car, with the windows fogged up, a hot latte in one hand, and NO cup holder. I would TOTALLY win.
Great site by the way
I have thoroughly enjoyed your pages on Romania. I was stationed in Iasi back in 1987-88 as a Fulbrighter, and I was searching the web to find how the city is faring these days. Luckily, I found your fiesty take on life there and elsewhere in Romania. Admittedly things have come a long ways since I froze in my apartment without hot water back then, but the same foibles of everyday life in Romania remain, if I am reading you correctly.
Since I am a college administrator and English prof, I believe I can write with some authority that you should not worry about “ungrammatical” English in your writing. You have a fine ear, and you keep your audience interested. Have you spent much if any time in Constanta? I haven’t yet seen your notes on the Black Sea coast.
Best,
David
do you have any video of your trips?
being a tour guide?
Leif,
I was surfing thru another travel blog, Conor’s mildly thrilling tales, when I saw your link on his. So far I have only read as far as your personal info page and its hysterical! I was in Prague this summer for 5 days and I had a blast. I will return next year I hope…so much still to explore.I look forward to your posts. Good Luck and keep posting.
Amanda
Why can’t u ever go back to Singapore?
Is that your Good Luck Ass on the pic link?
Leif, you’re such a whore.
;~)
Hi folks,
Thank you for all these comments. I apologize for not answering any of these. Out of sight, out of mind, you know.
For those that asked questions:
David – Thanks for reassuring my grammar concerns. I don’t even wanna think about what Iaşi must have been like in ’88. You should have gotten some sort of bonus scholarship for that trip. I’ve been to Constanta twice: once for the beach, once while researching the guidebook. Good food, nice walking in the center, reasonable beach down at Mamaia if you walk far enough away from the families. Nightlife wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Drinks were more expensive than the south of France. They’ve got cojones to charge those prices, esp when the beaches just south in Bulgaria are in better condition.
Janas – Sadly I have never traveled with a video camera. I already haul around too much tech. No space for one more expensive hunk of plastic and circuit boards.
Cindy – I’m not sure where to start…
Jamie – You’re just figuring this out now?
Leif,
Cant remember where I saw the link to your website, but am sure glad I did! You are full of ‘life’, extremely hilarious, blatant in marketing yourself and very good at writing. Whenever I’m in one of the tired low moods, I come to killingbatteries.com
Saw your ‘vblog’ on making omelettes – you have my full vote on hosting TV travel shows. Good luck:)
Cute and funny..the whole package. I also might own your Romania/Moldova book- gotta check. I think I might be cyber-in love…:)
Hey Leif,
Thanks for clearing up who you are because I had no idea. Now can we make exquisitely beautiful Romanian-Norwegian babies together? Roxanne (in Romanian Ruxandra)
Greetings…
Of all the strange places on das Intarweb for me to end up…one minute I’m searching for haikus about midget porn (honestly, I don’t recall for what I was searching, so I just aim for cheap shock value), the next thing I know I’m reading about a guy I haven’t seen since the 6th grade who is living the dream (well, one of mine, anyway) and snarkin’ it up.
I was that smart-ass girl (who am I kidding, I’m still a smart-ass) who used to play pirate ship with you & Big Bad Dykes, if that rings any bells. What can I say – I, too, suffer from a persistent memory.
It is quite refreshing to find someone who can actually write and may be as relentlessly hilarious as I am. I predict that I’ll spend many a boring conference call here, pretending I’m somewhere much more compelling.
-J
Hi Leif, stumbled across your website while searching In Your Pocket for god knows what…living the expat life for the first time in *drumroll please* Bucharest…yeah, picked the short stick.
I thoughly enjoyed the writings about the Swines..ahem, I mean cops. I wish I were as clever as to pull your prank, however I saw what a Romanian prison looked like on our way toward Bulgaria, and when the police officer pulled us over, first thing that came to mind was, “And how do I pay this ticket, at the station near me, or can I just give you a few lei? (*while batting eyes of course*)”…he is now relaxing in his paid-for-pool. Damn swine!
Thanks for the entertainment, and I totally believe you were attacked by a machete, it sounds so much cooler.
Brandie
a newbie groupie
Leif…you’re the coolest son of a kick-ass bike racer that I’ve ever met! Hopefully your travels will bring you in a south-easterly dirrection on day so we can catch up.
ROFL !! Sadly, there are too few people on this planet with your erudite and wry wit. And, you’re pretty darn cute for a young’n. You are a rare treasure to read. :-D
Hi Leif
I want to publish (some of) your ramblings in my travel magazine (in South Africa). Please grant permission – like a monthly column. I need all my readers to know about you.
Any chance (my wife will pay you in kindness – jokes), and you actually do look like a handsome version of David Beckham. Now do I have a chance?
Damn those machete injuries. Those Children of the Corn bitches better watch dey back next time!
Jeez you have almost as many groupies as I do and you’ve only worked on 2 LP guides. Good on you, lad. :o)
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your list. Really laughed at the “struggling travel writer” with the “struggling”part struck out. I’d love to know how you went from struggling to not.
hi there,
you rented a car from us,remember?
a small matiz :)
from time to time i read about you on you site
hope that you are ok and please be good in your writing about romania :) i am joking,do you job,you’re doning very well
best regards from romania,
Florina
Just found your blog and wanted to say what a pleasure it is to read. Hope to follow in your virtual footsteps!
Hi (: Love the website. You have the best job in the world.
One QQ, why would you not go back to Singapore? (: I’m local and it’s just out of curiosity. I laughed so hard when I read that line.
All the best!
Hi Sharina, the Singapore comment is just a joke following the previous comment about a straitjacket. I was not tied up in a straitjacket while in Singapore. I really loved it there actually. Though one time I was detained at Singapore airport because they said I did not look like my passport photo (I had lost some weight while traveling in the hot season). I only wanted to change planes! :)
If I weren’t married, I’d probably declare my undying love for you! Great blog, entertaining writing. Keep ‘er up!
Hi Leif, I am constantly searching for ways to make life happier and more meaningful. To bring some out-of-the-box thinking into the office, I just circulated your article “Slackerology 101” (published in Vitamn) to some of my colleagues in a binder that I created titled “Things that make you go hmmm…” My intent is that everyone will contribute interesting articles like yours to this binder, and permit themselves to take time for a bit of healthy leisure reading and discussion at work. I am a creative writer at heart, but spend my work days pouring over technical writing. Your article made me chuckle and reminded me of the fun things one can do with words when they are able to free themselves a bit. Thank you.
Now that was one enjoyable reading i just did!… makes me consider to leave my job and go backpacking…we’ll, some friends call me crazy lady when i did a solo backpacking in mainland China…chinese language knowledge? NADA… as in zero… but i made it…and enjoyed my trip…now i’m really good in sign (read:muttering and grunting) language.
Thank you for being an inspiration…guess i need to consider traveling more often now (while my knees could still endure it)
My goal: to see Antarctica before i turn 45
Cheers
Love your writing style and zest for life! While I clicked on your clever ‘do you hate authority’ button, it must be said that I can’t hate something that I pay no regard to! (yes, many examples can be given, but I won’t take up space on your page) It seems you and I have the same outlook on life and travel…thanks for the fun blog! I do love a cranky Norwegian :) I look forward to keeping up with you!
Okay, I have a crush on Leif too!
Ok I read that whole thing all about you. LOVED IT! I appreciate your sense of humor, but there is one thing I really wanted to know and couldn’t find.
Why “killing batteries”?
I’m willing to challenge you to a parallell parking contest! (being a former Angelino gives me an unfair advantage)