From: Leif Pettersen Sent: Tuesday, December 20, 2011 03:41 AM To: submissions@inflightmagazine.com Subject: pich Dear booger eater, You know, I’ve always hated your magazine. Erry time I pick up this stink bomb and sedate my brain with the tedious hack work you jackoffs print I wanna rip open the emergency…

As a result of hundreds of tongue-in-cheek, boastful comments I’ve made over seven years of sharing my life online, my handlers are telling me that I’ve managed to convince many of you that I’m some kind of badass. Well, this is entirely true. I am a badass. Among the innumerable…

Dear gumment, With the dust cloud of the economic crash finally settling, it’s time now to turn our attention to those industries that are suffering delayed consequences from this totally avoidable, clusterf*ck that your asshat predecessors let happen. I’m speaking, of course, of the unsung, selfless, heroic work done by…

Those following me on Twitter may have noticed a series of barely cryptic tweets recently suggesting that I may soon be unemployed. Since I’m prone to the occasional, teensy-weensy bit of embellishment when speaking about my personal life (hangovers, vertical leap, the contours of my booty), I’ve decided to share…

With ‘staycation’ still lingering in the lexicon as a legitimate – and lately only – option for cash-strapped people with time-off to kill, I thought I’d tackle the subject of ‘staylag’ or the staycation equivalent of jetlag. I recently suffered this affliction after a weekend romp, ranging dangerously close to…

Oh man, my little heart is breaking. I’ve just had a very fulfilling, passion-filled, five year relationship suddenly terminate. Boo hoo. She was easily my longest and most treasured traveling companion. We’d been through so much together. Seen the world from first class airplane seats, luxury cruises and the backs…

… when everyone in town knows you’re gonna drink it alone. By this stage, it’s no secret that I habitually enjoy a few glasses of wine (in front of me, simultaneously, as I dutifully finish the bottle) while in the privacy of my home after a long day of writing…

I joined Facebook last summer, because many self-absorbed friends had taken to posting their vacation photos on Facebook and only Facebook, so it was either I join or I miss out on photos. (Tip: If you ever want to see any of your friends semi-nude, just ask to see their…

I’ve been accused twice recently of being too funny for my own good by people in positions to drastically affect my employment, income and success. I can think of innumerable shortcomings in my writing, social skills and general appearance, but being too funny is one criticism that I never expected…

What the… I’ve been back in the US for one year already? Holy crap! What happened to all that time? All I did was leave town seven times (four internationally), write four guidebook chapters for two countries, write nine travel magazine articles, write 55 buyer’s guides for MSN, write countless…