The Loch Ness Monster may be seeking monster company in Australia


Now I don’t wanna alarm anyone, but the Loch Ness Monster has apparently somehow mastered flight. And where did she go first? Why, she rightly zoomed off to the center of the Monster Universe, Australia, where the ugliest and most dangerous creatures in the world congregate and occasionally get elected to high office.

It’s unclear if Nessie is there to just chill out with other monsters, commiserating about monster problems and so forth, or if she’s there to amass an unholy monster army that will decimate the planet and then use us humans as game in some kind of sick hunting safari.

What’s certain is that something resembling Nessie, definitely not a branch or part of a boat, is lurking off Magnetic Island which is, coincidentally, a popular vacation spot where visitors consume prodigious amounts of alcohol.

Related: Bigfoot has apparently been on the move lately.