Drunken pitching

From: Leif Pettersen
Sent: Tuesday, December 20, 2011 03:41 AM
To: submissions@inflightmagazine.com
Subject: pich

Dear booger eater,

You know, I’ve always hated your magazine. Erry time I pick up this stink bomb and sedate my brain with the tedious hack work you jackoffs print I wanna rip open the emergency exit door and jump to my deth.

Is your editorial direcction set by a nun, a 3rd grader and Papa Smurf? Jesus.

But I found out yer the new editer I thought I’d give you a chance at printing something other than complete shite for once.

I’ve been stalking you online for three days now and I think we’re total soulmates. Were both drink wine and watch Nurse Jackie and think that vacaions in Florida is for bitches. So, clearly you’re not an idiot. Respect!!!1

So, heres my idea: you send me to Italy, I rent a fucking Lamborghini and I just drive, man. Just drive aroun and see what happens! You ever notice how if you drive a Lamboghinni in Italy you can get away anything! I shit you not. I culd dress like a hobo, drive my Lambo right up to the Vatican and that’d totally let me in! its a intriguing dichotomy and a statement vis a vis society to day.

So that’s it. If this works, we could do all a series. Drive a Lambergini to France, drive a lamborghini to Spain, etc, etc. and I ll totally tweet everything, facebok, etc, etc.

You chew on that. I’m gonna chew on this burrito.

Call me.

Leif Peterse