Blogger writes clickbait response to clickbait and you won’t believe what happens next

Debateably famous travel blogger Leif Pettersen, best known for his tireless perseverance in the face of having no idea what’s he’s doing, banged out a scathing response to clickbait that he clicked on and immediately regretted earlier this week.

Clickbait

Pettersen seems to have taken issue with the body of the clickbait providing none of the information promised in the title. He consternation mushroomed due to the clickbait enjoying a mystifyingly high position on Google search results. Our hero swears he read somewhere that Google was cracking down on this bullshit like seven years ago, but here we are.

His annoyance went supernova when he encountered no less than three pop-ups while he was desperately scrolling through the article trying to find the promised information.

The first pop-up invited him to join the site’s newsletter, which presumably delivers none of the information it promises straight to your inbox.

The second pop-up, six seconds later, was just a friendly check-in and see if he’d changed his mind about declining the first pop-up.

The third pop-up promoted the site’s ebook guide to crafting pop-ups that will inspire readers to audibly curse then emphatically close the browser tab, guaranteed.

After taking a moment to appreciate the surprising bounce back of a wireless mouse rage-spiked onto plush carpet, Pettersen finished his third pre-breakfast Red Bull and went to work on his angry retort, which his readers almost unanimously testify are more entertaining than his nonplussed retorts.

When the proverbial and literal writing dust settled (“Why clean the dust when it’s just going to come back eventually, mom?”), Pettersen felt significantly better and was confident that people would read the whole thing, just like all his other 300+ word blog posts with few photos and almost no video, some of which, advertisers take note, have literally tens of clicks.

Having finished that, Pettersen decided that the blog post he was supposed to be working on that whole time could wait and wandered off the play Fortnite for three hours, comforted by the knowledge that he’d accomplished something, even if it was technically unrelated to his writing goals that day, which is how true writers operate.

In summary, don’t mess with the process.