World’s first gangsta travel rap album

The three or four people closely following my career and composing various unauthorized biographies about me peed themselves a little recently when I quietly launched a new side project: a gangsta rapper alter ego known as ‘Righteous Culo’.

Unfortunately, I immediately lost focus and creative direction. I’m told this is common in rap, what with the distractions of groupies, booze, being a pimp and producing family comedies on TBS.

Well, I’m happy to announce that those dark, wayward days are over and Righteous Culo’s debut album is in full production. I followed the advice given to all fledgling writers and decided to drop dope rhymes about what I know.

The result? The world’s first gangsta travel rap album: “Where’s the Hostel, Motherf*cker?”

Dr. Dre begged me not to go into too much detail, but I so truly love my fans that I can’t resist posting the track list as an appetite-whetter:

1.    “Extra Spicy Kebab, S’il Vous Plaît”
2.    “I Got Bed Bugs at Yo Mama’s House”
3.    “WTF TSA?”
4.    “I’ll Put My Chaco in Yo Ass!”
5.    “Walk This Way – Or You’ll Miss the Bus, Yo”
6.    “Baby, I Don’t ‘Like’ You That Way”
7.    “It Was a Good Day to Do Laundry”
8.    “Hablas Englisho?” – Featuring Bill Bryson
9.    “A Month in Amsterdam – Parents Just Don’t Understand”
10.     “Nuthin’ But a G-String”
11.     “$25 Wi-Fi? – TripAdviser Ass Whuppin”
12.    “Dat Ain’t No Girl! (Bangkok Blues)”

Aight, I gotta go meet with my eyebrow stylist and my limp choreographer. World peace out.