There have been few moments in my life that I was more proud of myself than last week when I was denounced and attacked with unimaginative insults by Altermedia, Romania’s neo-Nazi online misinformation delivery vehicle. Having lost representation in Romania’s parliament due to their dwindling numbers (roughly 12), it seems the group has more time on their hands to identify and blame gypsies, Jews and insolent foreigners for the entirety of their failed, wretched lives.
The hilarious article is ironically entitled “When Freedom of Speech becomes dangerous!” (If, when you click this link you only see a message saying “Le Revedere”, try this link), a 5,744-word jabbering opus, written by the objective, ethical, and not at all sexually deprived Alexandra Zarnescu. Despite her conspicuous lack of research (a neo-Nazi specialty) and citing none of my offensive quotes, Alexandra nevertheless wrote this little nugget about me:
“It becomes utterly grave when hateful opinions of Romania coming from individuals who have the clear intent of manipulating the non-informed and of bending reality are publicly expressed without a shame, causing prejudice to our national dignity. Leif Pettersen is such a slimeball and a human piece of garbage who insults Romanian citizens in the well-known travel guide called Lonely Planet, in which he portrays himself (!) as the sole authority in the matter („the most complete online travel information source“), as well as on his personal blog, while roaring his inner rage motivated by his abused childhood and his abjections originating from his Freudian complexes and American ghetto upbringing. We are mocked by both means of propaganda simply because we are citizens of the “second poorest European country” (speaking of which, what country is nowadays the poorest in Europe: Moldavia, Ireland, Greece, Ukraine or Bulgaria?). And ironically, on June 1st 2008, this guy was praised on Antena 3 TV channel for the way he „advertises us“ in his guide!”
Oh man, that’s some sweet neo-Nazi hating discourse right there. Though, honestly, I’m a little hurt that some blogger chick named Shelly Roberts living in that hellhole Bucharest got way more slam-time than I did. I mean, she’s merely spreading alleged untruths on her cute blog, while I’m spewing it all over tens of thousands of travelers with my accursed guidebook and web site, which, during her 17 seconds of research, Alexandra has confused as one in the same – the same mistake made by the equally research-deficient Hotnews and Mediafax in May.
Where the hell are my props, Alexandra? If you’re going to lavishly defame me, the least you can do is give me three paragraphs! You didn’t even mention my facial tics or my addiction to donkey porn! I should sue your hack journalist ass for criminal under-representation!! Maybe next time you’ll give me my due credit if I use more typos and muse about the oxygen-starved womb where you incubated for 7 and 1/2 months before starting your bitter life of baffling hatred and tediously long, libelous essays.